I’ve been living my life walking on a thin thread between love and logic,
Constantly trying to balance myself just so I won’t fall.
I can only try to stand tall,
and avoid the life trap that is tragic.
The balancing rod I am holding,
is something I call ‘friend’.
They help me to get a grip of where I am standing,
keeping my stand so I won’t bend.
I once almost fell to the pit of love,
hanging hopelessly on the thin thread with one hand, holding the balancing rod on the other.
I gripped my balancing rod tightly, trying to climb up above,
I pushed myself so that I was hanging no further.
Re-adjusting my balance, I walked forward.
Through the mist of uncertainty,
to get to the future of the unknown.
I’m slipping slowly to the pit of logic,
to the heartlessness that is so toxic.
Slowly becoming a machine,
surely becoming a heartless queen.
I once almost fell to the pit of joyous foolishness,
I’m slipping slowly to the pit of mechanical sanctuary.
Along this thin thread I’m walking on,
Even though I’m avoiding the pits of love and logic,
I am already in the abyss.
Should I be safe or should I be a fool?
Well, hello there, my friends! (You, you know who you are)
So I’ve been pretty much on a hiatus for the past 2 weeks or so and it was due to my exam period. I only had two exams, but since these two will be my last exams in the undergraduate program (cue complaints-about-how-freaking-old-i-feel in 3…2…), I had to make sure I was studying properly.
This was an old photo when I was stressing out with final assignments, but this photo pretty much represents my condition while studying for exams anyway…
So my exams went pretty well, I’d say. There was this weird feeling of “is-this-how-freedom-feels-like” when I walked out of the last exam. From now on I’ll be doing things such as getting ready to move out, preparing for my graduation, ordering my graduation dress, waiting for my Masters degree offer (fingers crossed I’ll get it!)…
People do different things after they had just finished their final (final) exams, some people have a feast in a good quality restaurant, some people drink until they pass out, some people party hard or go pub crawling…and then there are some people like me.
Right after my exam, I went straight to my K-pop dance class and jammed like nuts because I’ve been missing the classes for a week to focus on my study. It was the perfect moment that we learned Teen Top’s “Crazy” for the casual class. After the classes were over, John (my dance mentor) said that we should go out today and do some filming on random spots in Brisbane city for our promotional video. Erin, Dayne, Emily, and I were available today so we just decided that we will meet up in the city at 11 am.
While we were talking about our plans on Facebook last night, I just thought of something fun. You see, today was supposed to be a National Pyjamas Day (http://www.pyjamaday.com), so my friend who is a volunteer for the Pyjama Foundation told me about it and I was so keen so I told my friends that we should totally shoot some public k-pop dancing videos in our pyjamas. In the end, only Emily joined me in her disguised pyjamas though. I rocked my hot red penguin pyjamas and bunny ears, dancing K-pop songs in public.
You can see a bit of my pyjamas (and John’s face) here
Why? Well, because why the hell not.
We were pretty concerned this morning because it rained pretty much the whole night and day today, but we didn’t give up and insisted to continue with our video shooting (it didn’t rain that hard anyway, who are you to rain on my parade!)! I’ll post the video up when we’ve got it edited and good to go 🙂 Dayne helped us with the recording, and then Vitale and Taichi also joined us for some good fun! Oh, and Taichi also wore his sleeping attire, but not as bright as my pyjamas though.
Honestly, I was worrying a lot when I left my house, but then the longer the time went, the more I went “ah well, whatever”. I noticed a lot of WTF stares from people, there was even this girl who tried to flick my bunny ears when I went to Coles (to buy a bottle of water). Then the sweet Coles cashier girl smiled really brightly and said “Your bunny ears are so cute! And your hair looks awesome!” and that just really made my day. One more reason to love Brisbane: the random comments you get from strangers when you stand out in public.
Good things really do happen when you don’t care what other people think and you just know that you’re having fun with your great friends 🙂 So here’s a snapshot of us today (courtesy of Erin’s camera)
Sorry for the lack of updates, like I said, I had my 1st exam of the semester this morning at 8 am (heck, I’ve been waking up at 11am for the past few months…) so I was determined to sleep early, like before midnight kind of early so I can wake up at 6 and have time to kick-start my brain before the actual exam. With this kind of thought in my head before I went to sleep, of course I was in for a weird dream (or two). This reminds me of how some of my friends have dreams that they wake up late for the exam and this causes them to actually wake up on time (with anxiety tho…so it’s not a pleasant feeling at all). That was not the case last night. As usual, I had two epic dreams that I could not put together in one storyline.
The first dream I had was about Hongbin. He’s a member of a K-pop boyband called VIXX, and I’ve been obsessed about him lately so I was pretty certain he would show up in my dreams soon. Oh and he looked like this in the dream:
Credit: on the photo
He surprisingly had the similar jacket on and the same hairstyle as the one in the photo, which is to be honest, not my favourite look from him, because I still prefer him with long hair. Anyways, he’s actually one year younger than me (I was born in 1992, him in 1993), so in my dreams he was my junior in the university. The thing was that, I was already in the Masters program, and he was just about to graduate. For some reasons I didn’t even know, I was the one who handled the applications for the Masters program scholarships (this is just weird…). So he approached me and asked about the scholarship, and we basically just talked a lot in my dreams so there was nothing really special going on, really.
Then I woke up at 4.50 am, so I decided to go to sleep again, while hoping something interesting would happen between Hongbin and I…because I sometimes can continue my dreams from where it left off like that hahaha. Fate decided to give me an epic dream instead.
The second part of the dream involved Hugh Jackman (where did Hongbin go??), whom I don’t mind at all because I love him. The dream evolved to be about an epic adventure…in RUSSIA. My dream was just exactly like a generic Hollywood spy movie, with Hugh Jackman as the spy and me as the sidekick/sexy lady companion (ha I wish)/the one he needs to save. There were a lot of shootings and running involved, with Hugh Jackman holding my hand the whole time (except for the part where he tried to jump into a pool in an abandoned building to hide from our enemies…only to find that the pool was like ocean-deep and there were sharks inside lol). I think in one of the moments we were jumping from roofs to roofs, I finally woke up.
So those were practically my two weird dreams I had before an exam. The exam went incredibly well, by the way. Just one more to go and I’m a free (wo)man! So, do you guys ever had weird dreams before an important exam or placement tests?
Sorry for my lack of updates! Exams are coming so I need to study hard. Of course I won’t leave you guys with nothing, so here’s a random video about me “Reviewing” VIXX’s Hyde MV! Enjoy!
(And my camera refuses to focus on me for some reasons…I need to practice more)
They told me I should not care about external appearances,
but then they said I have to take care about my appearance.
They told me I should chase my dreams,
but then they said I need a feasible dream that can earn me some money.
They told me I should fall in love passionately,
but then they said I have to be logical and can’t be fooled with love.
They told me I should be firm to my beliefs,
but then they said I have to be adaptive and open-minded to changes.
They told me I should not waste my youth,
but then they said I have to be mature faster and think about my future.
They told me I should be honest to myself and other people,
but then they said I have to know what to point out to other people and be considerate.
They told me I should be a strong, independent woman,
but then they said I have to be feminine and not stronger than men.
They told me I should be myself,
but then they said I need to fit in to the society.
They told me I should be a unique individual,
but then they said I have to be the same or the society will reject me.
These dualities are the things we hear in our daily lives, since we were a child.
We were told to do things, but then we were also told to do the other.
No wonder the society is so f-ed up with its double standards.
I don’t know why, but this is one of my worst habits ever since I moved to Brisbane. The closer it gets to an assignment deadline or an exam, the more creativity sparks I get in my head. WHY.
I baked some banana bread this morning (read: 1 pm, because I woke up at 12 pm today, so it was still morning to me) just because last night I watched VIXX trying to bake some banana bread and failed. I remembered that I have two incredibly ripe bananas (please don’t encourage me to write some innuendos here…), so I figured, why the hell not. It turned out pretty amazing. I’m guessing tomorrow I’ll make chocolate banana macarons.
My exams are in less than 2 weeks and I haven’t made any attempt to do some proper studying. Can someone kill me now?
I have no idea why I kept having dreams about relationships, but this one is hilarious because it kind of follows my epic photo with Choi Siwon.
If you have no idea who he is, he’s one of the members of Super Junior (the K-pop group). I took this photo quite a while ago out of boredom and creativity sparks. Anyways, in my (relatively short but epic) dreams last night, he was my husband. The dream mostly involved normal marriage life during the beginning…and then it changed into Freaky Friday sort of thing.
Yes, in my dreams, because we had a fight, Siwon and I switched bodies (involuntarily, of course). So in the middle part towards the end of the dream, I was in Siwon’s body, and he was in mine. It was an indescribable feeling, but I liked it. He panicked more than I did, I actually quite enjoyed the time I spent in his body, being handsome and rugged and all that. Apparently he didn’t enjoy having boobs.
Then the journey continued to “trying to get back into our own bodies”. He literally asked everyone how to get back to his own body, until this powerful witch came along and brought us back to normal. Bummer. Then I woke up.
bonne idée! 