Say Goodbye and Go

I’ve been standing in your field of roses for too long.
I love you and it hurts me but I didn’t mind.
Your thorns were digging onto my skin, holding me down.
Soon I’ll be drowning in my own pool of blood.

I love you, but I’ll say goodbye and go.

Don’t hold me down in your field of roses,
So that you can come and see me when you feel like it,
I’m not a rose, I’m your lover.
Don’t say you love me if you don’t have me by your side.

I love you, but I’ll say goodbye and go.

Don’t keep me in that thorny field in your heart,
So that you can leave me and go back to me,
I’m hurt, but I’m your lover.
Don’t say you love me because you settle for me.

I love you, but I’ll say goodbye and go.

If you really love me then fight for me,
Walk through this field of roses and find me,
Save me from these stabbing thorns so I can be by your side.
Or I’ll leave and keep these wounds forever.

I love you, but I’ll say goodbye and go.

Don’t love me because I can love you like this.
Boy, you don’t get more excuses.
Don’t love me because I’m your last option.
Love me because I make you a better person.

I love you, but I’ll say goodbye and go.
I love you, so I’ll say goodbye and go.
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Because I have to stand my ground.

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Say Goodbye and Go

By the Line

BytheLine

Waiting for you,
is like waiting for the train that never arrives.

But the truth is…
I’ve always been waiting for you.

The station has been crowded,
flooded,
even deserted.

But I have always been here.
Standing…
Waiting.

People convinced me to leave,
to go back home.
When my feet hurt, I would think I should go home.
But where is home?

I’ve been standing here for so long…I forgot.

I’m still waiting for your train to arrive,
so that I can see your smile.
Smiling only for me.

I’ve seen so many faces,
people had tried to talk to me,
yet…why am I still here?
Waiting patiently by the line.

Sometimes I wonder…
If I jump into the tracks, will you finally come?
__________________________________________________
So at least I will know, that you would come for me.

By the Line

Your Green Eyes

I loved your eyes.
They were bright, and I thought they were blue.
You said they were green.

I don’t have light eyes.
Your eyes fascinated me.

I loved looking into your eyes.
Not just because they were light,
but also because your pupils were always dilated when you talked to me.

They said that when your pupils dilate when talking to someone,
you love that person.
I could always see it in your eyes.
But you never said it out loud.

I loved your dilated green eyes.

Until they looked almost psychotic.
It wasn’t love, it was lust.
It wasn’t love, you looked at me as if I was a piece of meat.

Never have I felt so afraid in my life.

________________________________
Which is why I chose to stand my ground and waved my hands goodbye.

Your Green Eyes

Pondering

Remembering all the familiar names,
Recognising all the familiar faces.

What I call “Friends”.
Some are “Ex-lovers”.
Some are “Best friends”.
Some are even “Family”.

Some I have known from school.
Some since I was younger.
Some I have met recently.
Some I have never even met.

Any of them could be a murderer.
Any of them could be psychologically disturbed.

Everyone has psychopathic tendencies.
It just takes a trigger.
One, sweet, little trigger.
That put those thoughts into action.

To put it simply, how much can you really know about someone?

How many steps ahead can you be?
How familiar are you with those close to you?

You may know their habits and their life stories,
but how much do you know what is going on in their heads when they talk to you?

What if sometimes they imagine how crunchy your neck will snap in their hands?
What if sometimes they imagine how smooth the knife will glide against your skin?
What if sometimes they imagine how bloody it will be when they smash your head against the wall?

What if one day, something pulled the trigger and they unleash their psychopathic thoughts on you?

How much can you really trust someone?
How much can we believe in other people?

_______________________________________________

Obviously I’ve been watching Gone, Girl and also How to Get Away with Murder too much.

Pondering

051114

Remember, remember,
the 5th of November.
The day was solemn,
and was spent alone.

Movie re-runs,
Triggered guns,
Clouded suns,
and howling hounds.

The choking chains,
The sweet seductions,
The enigmatic emotions,
The prickling pains.

I took a stand and waved my hand.
It’s time for a goodbye and he needs to die.

Remember, remember,
the 5th of November.
I untied the knot,
and started to forgot.

_____________________________________

051114, the day I decided to stand my ground.

051114