Month: April 2015

Words

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We are blessed with words.
To express, to communicate.
Much stronger than swords.
To retaliate, to reciprocate.

An extension of our thoughts.
An expression of our feelings.

Words bring people closer,
words bring people apart.
Words to lure people in,
words to push people out.

So why are words mightier than swords?
Because it’s the abstract product of thoughts.

Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, race in our minds.
Words, words, words, jump out from our thoughts.

Then silence.
Cue brain process.

Action-reaction.

Words are perceived.
Perceptions are processed in thoughts.
Thoughts are delivered in words.

The Möbius strip.

Words are free to be written,
words are free to be interpreted.
But words will never ever represent a human being.

Humans are more than descriptive words.
Angry words, venomous words, sad words,
happy words, gleeful words, love words.

And words are my only weapon.
To use well to spread love and kindness.
Or to use poorly to spread venomous hate.

So these are my words.
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To celebrate my 100th post.

Words

Fragments

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Small, small fragments.
Kept tidy, hidden away.
Just small segments.
Of happiness without dismay.

True, memories may vanish.
But it all depends on me.
Happiness don’t just perish.
How forgetful I may be.

Hate is a strong word I can’t use,
even when my feelings diffuse.
I hope we can call it truce,
after all you’re always my muse.

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Because the good memories stay and the bad ones go.

Fragments

Truth

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Justice is not about truth,
it’s about getting the most convincing story up front.
But what is the truth?
When what we feel is different from our front.

And the truth does not even matter anymore.

Believe what you have to believe to make you happy,
even if it’s not the truth.
Because we all want to be happy,
and sometimes we don’t need the truth.

So the truth does not even matter anymore.

I know you know it’s not true,
but really what can I do?
If I can’t bring happiness to you,
then let me remove myself quietly from you.

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So please, go after the happiness you deserve.

Truth

Venom

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You know what they say,
anger is a venom you need to spit out.
There’s always a price to pay,
it kills you slowly inside.

I was spitting the venom out,
but the venom spreads and hurts others.

The venom from my own brain,
collected from the wrong thought.
It sprayed out like rain,
pouring onto the drought.

Except that it was dissolving everything like acid.

It has been done,
does not mean that it was not wrong.
I know what I have done,
and I admit I did it wrong.

No apologies can cure you from the venom,
but if it could heal just a little,
I’m sorry.

I’ve been a venomous snake,
and I’ve bit you and spread the venom out.
I’m sorry.

Let me move along in my journey,
so that my brain would clear the venoms from my system.
And I hope that time could heal your pain that I caused.

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Thank you, and I’m sorry.

Venom

Wide Awake

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Lying on the edge of my bed, I breathe.
Looking at the time, oh what time is it?
It’s 4:16 am and I am wide awake.
Staring at the ceiling, oh what is it?

Blink. Blink. Blink.

Wait, was it all a dream or is this real?
It was like a dream, that’s what I feel.
A long dream, or was it even a nightmare?
I don’t even have anymore thoughts to spare.

Blink. Blink. Blink.

The ceiling fan spinning at a constant speed.
Well, not like what we had when we started.
Even my heartbeat was at a constant speed.
Well, not like what I felt when we started.

Blink. Blink. Blink.

Gripping the blanket tightly,
forcing myself to go to sleep.
I can’t even make myself weep,
just staring the ceiling continuously.

Blink. Blink. Blink.

Ha. You disgust me.
There, I said it.
I scoffed.
Wow. You disgust me.

Blink. Blink. Blink.

Oh hey let’s see what time it is.
It’s 4:26 am and I am wide awake.
How long are you gonna keep this?
Hup, hup, come on it’s time to wake.

Wakey, wakey.
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“I know the truth now,
I know who you are,
and I don’t love you anymore,”
– Evanescence “Everybody’s Fool”

Wide Awake

One/Free

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I can hear the chains clanking off my back,
my wings are still weak but I still remember how to fly.
I swear I felt like I was about to die,
but now I will fly far and never look back.

The gust of air screams freedom,
and once again, I could be me.
But there is still something that bothers me,
and prevents me from enjoying this freedom.

I want to rip that sweet facade off your face.

Everyone was right, I didn’t belong there,
but I could fly home now.
I wanted to keep my vow,
to be with you I chose to stay there.

But god I was dying.
I floated but the air was still suffocating.

Those sweet, sweet promises,
chained me to the lands of uncertainty.
Those sweet, sweet kisses,
locked me to the heart of improbability.

The pain is still there from the chains,
but I can breathe again now.
I guess I was right,
I had to wait for you to unleash the chains.

I’m no slave, I’m free.
Was that how you wanted to treat me?
Fuck, I guess I was a slave to your love,
oh that’s right, wasn’t that how we began, love?

Funny how our world never was and never will be.
No matter how much I wished for it to be.
Through heaven and hell I went back,
but no, this time I’m not going back.

Let me live in my freedom.
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And let me laugh through my red lips.

One/Free

Your Fool

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That beautiful facade,
I foolishly fell in love with.
Oh, honey, I am a fool.
But god damn it I’m your fool.

I look in the mirror and I laugh,
“How did you get so far off?”
So far deep, deep down,
wearing the fool’s crown?

Laugh, laugh, laugh.
Admit it, this is funny.

Your chaos behind your facade.
How much time do you have before you fall apart?

Accept it, this is a domino game.
The stack of cards won’t stop falling over.
If you seriously think this is a game,
shouldn’t it be time that it’s game over?

If I have a question to ask more,
do you even know yourself anymore?
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“Without the mask,
where will you hide?
Can’t find yourself,
lost in your lies,”
– Evanescence “Everybody’s Fool”

Your Fool

Laugh It Out

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Funny how the world works,
but when I see it again,
I guess I’ll laugh it off,
and I won’t feel any pain.

Hahaha! Laugh it out!

Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me
Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be?

Fool me thrice, I’m disgusted with you,
but I guess it was alright because I loved you.

I cried enough,
but these tears are for me.
I know it is tough,
but damn I love me.

And no one can love me more than I do.

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Just what we all need,
more lies about the world that
never was and never will be
have you no shame? Don’t you see me?
You know you’ve got everybody fooled.
-Evanescence, “Everybody’s Fool”

Laugh It Out

Love Letter to My Future Lover

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Dear my future lover,
Before I say anything, thank you for loving me.
Thank you for sharing this joyful feeling with me.
Thank you for considering that loving me is a choice.
And thank you for wanting to work with me.

I know I’m a lot to work with,
I know it’s not easy to stay with me.
Thank you for being a fighter and a lover.
Thank you for choosing me and not someone else better.

Love me when I’m strong,
love me when I’m weak.
Love me when I do wrong,
love me when I’m at peak.

Love me when I’m red,
love me when I’m blue.
Love me when I’m bad,
love me when I’m good.

Love me when I’m an exploding firework,
love me when I’m a puddle of tears.
Love me for my hard work,
love me for my fears.

Love me when I’m a ball of energy,
love me when I feel so lazy.
Love me when I’m running,
love me when I’m floating.

Love me when I’m sweet,
love me when I’m in heat.
Love me when I’m angry,
love me when I’m teary.

I know, love, it’s hard to love a free soul.
A free soul can’t be chained down onto the earth.
A free soul needs to move, needs to float.
A free soul dies slowly when she is chained.

Love, I hope you’re a free soul, too.
Let’s link our hands together and float away.
Let’s fly together, let’s work together.
Let’s love in our good and bad.
Let’s love when we’re outside and when we’re in bed.

Let’s love for the rest of our lives.

Love,
a free soul who will share my love with you.
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Love Letter to My Future Lover