Sunshine

I never liked hot days.
With the sun glaring at my skin,
darkening it at every second,
all I could feel was beads of sweat trickling down my skin.

Then cue sweaty clothes, sticky hair, and increasing consciousness of one’s own body odour.
All I could think of was how awful this hell was.

Today,
You pulled my hand and said, “Let’s not take things for granted,”
Today was sunny, but it wasn’t bad.
Was it because of your hand holding mine?

Today,
I could feel the sun lightly kissing my skin,
the wind tickling the back of my neck,
and the fresh smell of frangipani relaxing my mind.

Today,
I could see the joy in other people’s faces,
I wonder what is making them smile right now,
because I take one look at you and I know my reason.

Today was sunny, but I liked it.

________________________________________________________________________
You are my sunshine.

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Sunshine

Clench

“I’m fine,”
while clenching my fists,
clenching my teeth.

What if I say I’m not fine?
What if I hurt their feelings?
What if I am seen as selfish?

“I’m fine,”
while clenching my fists,
clenching my teeth.

Well I have to be okay.
Just clench and deal with it.
It’s not important.

“I’m fine,”
while clenching my fists,
clenching my teeth.

I want to whine.
I want to breakdown.
I want to cry.

“I’m fine,”
while clenching my fists,
clenching my teeth.

Stop it, you’re being selfish now.
Just go to sleep.
It will be okay tomorrow.

“I guess I will be fine,”
slowly exhaling deeply,
releasing my tension.

______________________________
I just wanted to hear that it’s okay for me to breakdown for a mere 5 seconds. And a hug.

Clench