chaos chaos chaos
in my brain?
is it in my heart?
chaos chaos chaos
like a tangled spiderweb.
chaos chaos chaos
fire in the hole!
what the fuck am I even on about.
As I close the door
to set my steps on the world
I took a glance back
but was more excited on the view of what was coming
I have wandered
I have challenged
I have been afraid
I have been curious
I have their faith
I have their trust
Every step forward I have taken
has only been possible because of the safe security of home
Because no matter how far I go
Their love never cease to exist
Because I am blessed with the kindest home.
Amongst the still-glimmering stars in the night sky,
You came like a shooting star.
With an intensity so high,
Aiming to travel far.
You may be brief but you were bright,
Although your time has passed I remember your light.
Even though the world was unjust,
You have no more worries, you’re a stardust.
Clutching on my bag, I walk home,
The golden sky watches over my shoulder.
The gust of wind ensures that I’m not alone,
With each step I take, I get closer.
98, 99, 100
With home still out of sight,
Only birds and trees on the right,
Although the day is turning to night,
Nothing in my way can deter my might.
498, 499, 500
Some rocks have gotten into my shoes,
Scraping the soles of my foot,
But there have been more things I have withstood,
This far in I have nothing else to lose.
998, 999, 1000
I can hear the melody of your laughter,
I’m not there yet, but I can still roam,
Taking further steps to the next chapter,
Looking forward to the next time I go home.
You are my home.
But how can I not smile,
when every time I look at you,
I see you fathering our children.
My steps are heavy,
dragging across the land that is muddy,
soft rain trickles on me,
it bothers but I let it be.
In this seemingly endless wetlands,
no map of some sort in my hands,
just a bottle of water,
and faith that cannot falter.
For the flower on the precipice,
that brings me happiness.
It has a familiar appearance,
but unseen with the eyes.
For the flower that is mine
I just need a sign,
She worked a job with no past experience,
no university degrees to help her excel,
devoting her life to raise good people,
trying to make just a little difference.
She’s a human being with flaws,
but she’s only doing her best.
She always says she is blessed,
because she has me as her cause.
We agree on some things,
about people and spreading kindness.
We disagree on many things,
about the world and about ourselves.
Emotions are hard to keep,
even though we try hard to ignore.
In silence she did not weep,
but the weight of pain in her eyes she bore.
In her flaws she is still perfection,
as no one could have done her job better than her.
She guided me in to the right direction,
even though I end up in a different place from her.
In her eyes there was still disappointment,
not of me, but of herself.
Despite her flaws, she did nothing wrong,
and there are no reasons for me to be gone.
She is weeping silently through her eyes,
but I only pray to God, someday please bring back her smile.
Even if the rest of my life is an atonement
for breaking her heart.
Hey there, little girl.
You may think you’re not doing well,
and the world is going against you.
Keep holding on,
you will get there.
It won’t be an easy path,
you will have your heart ripped out,
broken into pieces,
to the point you feel numb.
You will learn to fight,
and to let go.
They can forcibly take your flower crown,
but don’t let them take your innocence.
The dripping noise of the rain feels longing,
the warmth of the bed sheet that feels half missing.
The rain lulls me to sleep tonight,
with an umbrella that is the moonlight.
I long for the milky rain,
the one we dont need an umbrella for.
Nothing says love more than
simply being there
for someone who is crying their insecurities out on the floor
at 3 A.M.
bearing their pain
that is silence broken by the sound of their tears
knowing that this won’t be their last breakdown
and you choose to stay.
attraction brings you in,
but love makes you stay