Through the Cracks

Because for something that looks so beautiful
                 like those endless glassy smiles on your faces
                  maggots crawl through your cracks
and smells that are more raw than faeces.

Never trust a smile on the first glance.

Through the Cracks

My Little Mademoiselle

Ma chérie,
my little mademoiselle.
Who flies like a fairy,
who leaps like a gazelle.

Soaring innocence, so pure.
boasting elegance, so mature.
Springing gently on your feet,
going up for the next suite.

Though now, she is a mademoiselle no more.
She is the majesty, the royal honour.

Forgive me, your honour, am I not worthy for your time?

You think that you are sitting on a gold throne,
but you are sitting on your tombstone.
Look at you, thinking that you’re surrounded by sandstones,
when those walls around you are made from bones.

You left your home for a castle,
but you are in a shambles.
In your world, you’re a royal highness,
but the real world knows you’re a royal mess.

You are the queen of your own world.

Oh honey, wake up and see.
You are no queen to me.
Hiding yourself in a castle for few,
no one really knows the real you.

Maybe that would be the best,
because the world will know you are truly messed.
Never an honest word,
do you think you will rule the world?

Let me rip that sweet veneer,
I know who you are, my dear.
Even if you say everyone is your family,
oh we know that’s a blasphemy.

You blame the world for its error,
when it’s clearly reflected in your mirror.

Once you go there was never, never an honest word.

My Little Mademoiselle

Letter to God

Dear God,
I know I haven’t talked to you in a while.
I haven’t prayed like I was taught to.
But you know you’re always on my mind.
You know you never left my heart.

there has been something that’s bothering me lately.
And I thought I want to ask you why,
because I don’t understand.
Can you answer me?

why do people worship you differently?

Tell me, God,
If religion is supposed to bring people together,
why is it that all it does to me is taking people I love away from me?

I’m not angry at you, God.
But I have to admit it breaks my heart.

Aren’t we all taught to love people regardless of their religion?
But why can’t I continue to love someone because of our differences?

I know I’m not the most faithful person in you,
and I know I’m not the most knowledgeable person about religion.
But, God…you know me.
All I want is to love someone freely.

I don’t care if the person refers you by any other names other than God,
because if I love a good person, why would it matter?

I’m tired.
I feel like I can’t love anymore. I don’t want to get hurt.
I’m tired of being hurt.

But please, God,
just show me why.

I just want to be a good person. I’m trying my best to be.
So can you please stop taking people that I love away from me?

I just want to love a good person.

Thank you, God.

Letter to God


They told me I should not care about external appearances,
but then they said I have to take care about my appearance.

They told me I should chase my dreams,
but then they said I need a feasible dream that can earn me some money.

They told me I should fall in love passionately,
but then they said I have to be logical and can’t be fooled with love.

They told me I should be firm to my beliefs,
but then they said I have to be adaptive and open-minded to changes.

They told me I should not waste my youth,
but then they said I have to be mature faster and think about my future.

They told me I should be honest to myself and other people,
but then they said I have to know what to point out to other people and be considerate.

They told me I should be a strong, independent woman,
but then they said I have to be feminine and not stronger than men.

They told me I should be myself,
but then they said I need to fit in to the society.

They told me I should be a unique individual,
but then they said I have to be the same or the society will reject me.

These dualities are the things we hear in our daily lives, since we were a child.
We were told to do things, but then we were also told to do the other.

No wonder the society is so f-ed up with its double standards.


Positive Correlation Between Creativity Sparks and Assignment Deadline / Exam

I don’t know why, but this is one of my worst habits ever since I moved to Brisbane. The closer it gets to an assignment deadline or an exam, the more creativity sparks I get in my head. WHY.

I baked some banana bread this morning (read: 1 pm, because I woke up at 12 pm today, so it was still morning to me) just because last night I watched VIXX trying to bake some banana bread and failed. I remembered that I have two incredibly ripe bananas (please don’t encourage me to write some innuendos here…), so I figured, why the hell not. It turned out pretty amazing. I’m guessing tomorrow I’ll make chocolate banana macarons.

My exams are in less than 2 weeks and I haven’t made any attempt to do some proper studying. Can someone kill me now?

Positive Correlation Between Creativity Sparks and Assignment Deadline / Exam


Who are you exactly to tell me how to live my life?
Or anyone’s life, at that.
“Girls have to be feminine and gentle, and boys have to be strong and manly,”
What if I tell you, straight in your face, “NO.”


Everyone deserves to live their life how they want it to be.
Anyone can choose to stand out or to fit in.
No one can tell anyone to follow the society.

Anyone deserves to stand out without having to worry about criticism.
Anyone deserves to fit in without having to lie to themselves.

Everyone has different ones.
Mine is honesty.

I would rather be true to myself and stand out rather than to fit in.
Not even my mind can fit in to the society.
I would rather have less friends rather than having to have another face.
A visage of vanity.

I would choose solitude rather than having to hear your trash talk.

Do us all the favour, and stop pretending like you “care” about our image.
It’s our image, not yours.