Who Are You?

I don't know who you are, but I know who I am.
I am a woman. 
I am a woman who supports women. 
I am a woman who empowers women. 

Silly of me to think other women would think the same. 
After all, we still try to trip each other, aren't we?
How can you put yourself down so low?
My heart aches for you, it's pitiful to see.
Never would I ever do what you did to me.
Have some integrity and dignity.

So let me help you save face, so you don't further embarrass yourself.
How do you expect to be treated well when you sell yourself short?
Who Are You?

Puzzle

Two imperfect pieces,
with different grooves and edges.
Each were not broken nor incomplete,
each were perfectly neat.

Where one was lacking, the other had more,
and in that empty space, they meet.
Like the perfect snug, they fit.
No need to search for a missing piece anymore.

Put together, pulled apart through time,
and distance that is far.
No matter how pulled apart they are,
they will be put together in time.

Because they are the imperfect pieces that fit perfectly only with each other.

_____________________________________________
And when they are together, everything makes sense again.

Puzzle

Mental Conversations

“Welcome to your first session. What has been bothering you lately?”

“Friends,”

“What about them?”

“I don’t know,”

“Do you have some?”

“Yes,”

“So why has it been bothering you?”

“Because I woke up after a long dream and realised that I know nothing,”

“Nothing?”

“What do I know? What do I not know?”

“And that has been bothering you?”

*shrugs* “I guess,”

“Have you talked it out?”

*shakes head* “I don’t know how,”

“How to…?”

“How to talk to them,”

“Well first, what would you like to know?”

“If our laughs were real,”

“Maybe they were real at that time,”

“I guess,”

“What else would you like to know?”

“Will we be able to laugh again in the future?”

“You will always be able to laugh with someone, anyone, even with another person, a better person,”

“I guess,”

“What is the last thing that you would like to know?”

“What do they speak of me when I’m not listening?”

____________________________________________
but the answer is only silence.

Mental Conversations

Sensations

No alcohol in my system but my heart is burning,
just a soft, gentle warmth from the fire.
No caffeine in my system but my heart is racing,
just a steady pace like a rolling tire.

Just a familiar sensation.

In the silence of the night I could hear everything.
Cars passing, hammers clanking, fan spinning.
People laughing, random knocking, my heart beating.
Well I was still alone, really, if anything.

Just a familiar sensation.

The soft warm blanket wrapped around my body.
Couldn’t even bother to make it tidy.
Staring at the blank ceiling.
Just quietly wishing for something.

Just a familiar sensation.

Winter is approaching and I am waiting,
but winter is coming slowly and it’s cold.
Now, really, what exactly am I waiting?
Probably waiting for the rest of my life, so I’ve been told.

Just a familiar sensation.

____________________________________________
Because the nights are getting colder.

Sensations

The Tower

The clock is there but the time never ticks.
Not when we are here together.
Just honesty, no tricks.
Feels like we’ve been here forever.

You are the prince and I was only a maiden,
But out of all the princesses you chose me.
“What do you see in me?” I thought back then.
“Just you…everything in you,” you said to me.

Before I knew you, I was defeated.
You rescued me from the wreck that was caused by the hurricane.
You picked me up and made me stand back on my feet,
When I thought I was close to being insane.

You took me to this tower,
a tower built so strong over the years.
You vowed to protect me with all your power,
just so I won’t need to shed another tears.

Never had anyone tried to protect me like you do.
Not only you protect me from the hurricane,
you also protect me from your own beast inside you.
So I don’t feel anymore pain.
____________________________________________

Thank you.

The Tower

My Dreams Saga #4: Bad Dreams

So it’s been a while since I last talked about my dreams because most of them weren’t that interesting. I finally had another dream that is probably worth sharing in a while. So last night I had a nightmare. Funny how every time I had a nightmare and waking up on the wrong side of the bed (aka: waking up extra grumpy), things just would not work well for me that day. More reasons to hate nightmares.

Anyways, it was weird because in this nightmare, I wasn’t scared at all. It seemed pretty normal to me somehow. Like normal dreams go, I could not remember the beginning at all, but the part that I could remember was seeing some of my family members – I think there was my mum and my brother – and friends – I remember seeing John – and we were all in this giant mansion that looked slightly Renaissance-ish. The weird part was that we were all singing and playing games, until one of the games turned horrific and somehow involved a giant axe. I remember laughing in my dreams while hitting that axe on someone’s neck repeatedly. I seemed to keep winning all the games in the dream so I ended up killing everyone but the worst part is, I remember sitting on top of a woman (I could not remember who exactly), strangling the life out of her with my two hands, and her fingers were pressing onto the sides of my upper arms, trying to get me away. Yes, I was laughing while doing this.

I woke up not long after, feeling incredibly cranky and grumpy somehow. I didn’t think much of the dream until I was about to take a shower. After I took off my clothes, I realised that I have two bruises on both of my upper arms, most likely in the exact position where the woman was holding onto in my dreams.

One thing you should know about me, I don’t bruise easily. It’s not like I get random bruises when I wake up from my sleep. After I saw these bruises, I remembered the woman I was strangling in my dreams, and to be honest I was scared. The bruises have faded by the time I was writing this post, but this morning when I took a shower, they were really fresh and yellowish-green, and they hurt when I touched them.

So there we go, something creepy for your weekend. Any thoughts of this?

P.S.: I swear I didn’t kill anyone for real lol

My Dreams Saga #4: Bad Dreams