Now I understand my doubts.
Why I kept wondering.
Because it was never there.
Now I understand my doubts.
Why I kept wondering.
Because it was never there.
Her heart was burned into ashes from the passion. Wind blew the ashes away. There, once again, she was free.
Like the start of anything new,
We had a rough beginning.
Like learning a new skill,
It takes time and effort.
Time went by so quickly,
And I admit I’ve made many mistakes along the way.
But I kept on going.
I stayed. For you.
Because I love you.
I don’t say those words easily,
You would know that.
If I say it to you,
Just keep your faith in me.
I love you and only you.
I know how it feels to be living in your dream.
Not the one where you feel like your dreams came true,
but literally you are living and breathing inside your dream.
You hate waking up because you wake up in a foreign place.
You can’t wait to fall asleep and drift into your dreams, every single night.
Because in your dreams, he’s there. Smiling at you. Holding your hand.
Just the two of you holding a seemingly endless conversation with an endless stash of hazelnut latte in your hands.
You can do whatever you both want.
No rules, no restrictions, no judgments. No one else but you two.
He glides the palm of his hand against your cheek as he softly says, “I love you,”
You smiled at him, but as you were about to reply to his words, you woke up.
Alone in your bed.
While you slowly try to wake up, the warmth you felt on your cheek slowly disappeared.
Disappearing into the void.
It was then replaced by the warmth from your own tears.
You figuratively hit yourself in the head, having to constantly remind yourself that it did not happen.
Oh, but you wish it did. Or it will.
You feel angry all the time because you are sick.
Sick of all the terrible things happening in the real world.
None of these things happened in your dream.
You want to escape.
You want to live in your dream forever.
You know exactly the quickest route to escape.
But will you do it?
I haven’t heard from you.
I don’t know how else I could keep in touch with you.
I hate it.
I hate not being able to know how your day went.
I hate not being able to talk to you again.
Did I make a wrong move?
Was I not supposed to say that word?
My chest hurts, yet I can’t make myself cry.
I’m still here…but where are you?
I deserved to be punched in the face for slacking off on this blog. ;___; I’ve recorded (and edited) a video to catch up about everything I haven’t told you guys for the past few months…yet I haven’t uploaded it onto YouTube. I will. Soon. It’s going to be a long video, too.
TL;DR, I’m back in Indonesia for a while (just got back last week). I’m still waiting for any news about the Masters degree, fingers crossed I’ll get it so I can go back and stay in Brisbane. And VIXX is ruining my life and I can’t focus on anything that is not VIXX-related right now.
Just thought I’d let you know that. I’m still alive. I promise to post up the super long video by the end of this week.
Well, hello there, my friends! (You, you know who you are)
So I’ve been pretty much on a hiatus for the past 2 weeks or so and it was due to my exam period. I only had two exams, but since these two will be my last exams in the undergraduate program (cue complaints-about-how-freaking-old-i-feel in 3…2…), I had to make sure I was studying properly.
So my exams went pretty well, I’d say. There was this weird feeling of “is-this-how-freedom-feels-like” when I walked out of the last exam. From now on I’ll be doing things such as getting ready to move out, preparing for my graduation, ordering my graduation dress, waiting for my Masters degree offer (fingers crossed I’ll get it!)…
People do different things after they had just finished their final (final) exams, some people have a feast in a good quality restaurant, some people drink until they pass out, some people party hard or go pub crawling…and then there are some people like me.
Right after my exam, I went straight to my K-pop dance class and jammed like nuts because I’ve been missing the classes for a week to focus on my study. It was the perfect moment that we learned Teen Top’s “Crazy” for the casual class. After the classes were over, John (my dance mentor) said that we should go out today and do some filming on random spots in Brisbane city for our promotional video. Erin, Dayne, Emily, and I were available today so we just decided that we will meet up in the city at 11 am.
While we were talking about our plans on Facebook last night, I just thought of something fun. You see, today was supposed to be a National Pyjamas Day (http://www.pyjamaday.com), so my friend who is a volunteer for the Pyjama Foundation told me about it and I was so keen so I told my friends that we should totally shoot some public k-pop dancing videos in our pyjamas. In the end, only Emily joined me in her disguised pyjamas though. I rocked my hot red penguin pyjamas and bunny ears, dancing K-pop songs in public.
Why? Well, because why the hell not.
We were pretty concerned this morning because it rained pretty much the whole night and day today, but we didn’t give up and insisted to continue with our video shooting (it didn’t rain that hard anyway, who are you to rain on my parade!)! I’ll post the video up when we’ve got it edited and good to go 🙂 Dayne helped us with the recording, and then Vitale and Taichi also joined us for some good fun! Oh, and Taichi also wore his sleeping attire, but not as bright as my pyjamas though.
Honestly, I was worrying a lot when I left my house, but then the longer the time went, the more I went “ah well, whatever”. I noticed a lot of WTF stares from people, there was even this girl who tried to flick my bunny ears when I went to Coles (to buy a bottle of water). Then the sweet Coles cashier girl smiled really brightly and said “Your bunny ears are so cute! And your hair looks awesome!” and that just really made my day. One more reason to love Brisbane: the random comments you get from strangers when you stand out in public.
Good things really do happen when you don’t care what other people think and you just know that you’re having fun with your great friends 🙂 So here’s a snapshot of us today (courtesy of Erin’s camera)
From now on I’ll try to be more active here, you’ll see! Good night!
Sorry for the lack of updates, like I said, I had my 1st exam of the semester this morning at 8 am (heck, I’ve been waking up at 11am for the past few months…) so I was determined to sleep early, like before midnight kind of early so I can wake up at 6 and have time to kick-start my brain before the actual exam. With this kind of thought in my head before I went to sleep, of course I was in for a weird dream (or two). This reminds me of how some of my friends have dreams that they wake up late for the exam and this causes them to actually wake up on time (with anxiety tho…so it’s not a pleasant feeling at all). That was not the case last night. As usual, I had two epic dreams that I could not put together in one storyline.
The first dream I had was about Hongbin. He’s a member of a K-pop boyband called VIXX, and I’ve been obsessed about him lately so I was pretty certain he would show up in my dreams soon. Oh and he looked like this in the dream:
Credit: on the photo
He surprisingly had the similar jacket on and the same hairstyle as the one in the photo, which is to be honest, not my favourite look from him, because I still prefer him with long hair. Anyways, he’s actually one year younger than me (I was born in 1992, him in 1993), so in my dreams he was my junior in the university. The thing was that, I was already in the Masters program, and he was just about to graduate. For some reasons I didn’t even know, I was the one who handled the applications for the Masters program scholarships (this is just weird…). So he approached me and asked about the scholarship, and we basically just talked a lot in my dreams so there was nothing really special going on, really.
Then I woke up at 4.50 am, so I decided to go to sleep again, while hoping something interesting would happen between Hongbin and I…because I sometimes can continue my dreams from where it left off like that hahaha. Fate decided to give me an epic dream instead.
The second part of the dream involved Hugh Jackman (where did Hongbin go??), whom I don’t mind at all because I love him. The dream evolved to be about an epic adventure…in RUSSIA. My dream was just exactly like a generic Hollywood spy movie, with Hugh Jackman as the spy and me as the sidekick/sexy lady companion (ha I wish)/the one he needs to save. There were a lot of shootings and running involved, with Hugh Jackman holding my hand the whole time (except for the part where he tried to jump into a pool in an abandoned building to hide from our enemies…only to find that the pool was like ocean-deep and there were sharks inside lol). I think in one of the moments we were jumping from roofs to roofs, I finally woke up.
So those were practically my two weird dreams I had before an exam. The exam went incredibly well, by the way. Just one more to go and I’m a free (wo)man! So, do you guys ever had weird dreams before an important exam or placement tests?
Sorry for my lack of updates! Exams are coming so I need to study hard. Of course I won’t leave you guys with nothing, so here’s a random video about me “Reviewing” VIXX’s Hyde MV! Enjoy!
(And my camera refuses to focus on me for some reasons…I need to practice more)
I dare you to ask me what my favourite colour is…I DARE YOU!!