Just a bit more.

You wake up to your alarm,
then get yourself showered,
have an egg on toast that tastes like nothing,
like you haven’t been able to taste anything in the last few weeks,
you try to put on a smile to kickstart your day at work,
but really you know you can burst into tears anytime over nothing,
you try to make yourself look cute,
but really you’ve hated all your clothes lately,
just like you’ve hated your body again,
but here you are, on your way to work,
not for the money,
but for the desperate hope that you can feel something trying to do good for others.
So here you are, again, trying just a bit more.

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Just a bit more.

Prayer

A little girl prays on her knees,
begging to God that one day she will be cherished.
She prayed that as her hair grows to her knees,
her love would also have flourished.

After years, her dreams were shattered,
her heart was hurt,
its pieces were scattered,
her hair was cut short.

She hated God.

For years her hair was kept short,
and she built herself a fort.
She took herself for a fool,
oh how could God be so cruel?

She was told that she was worthless.
She believed that she was undeserving.

A worthless woman, undeserving of love.

So many people God took away from her,
He told her to patiently wait.
Then He sent a man to her,
a man who is set to be her fate.

A man who would cherish her.

As she grows her hair again,
her love will reign,
her love will not go in vain.
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Because he made her believe in love and God again.

Prayer

Thankful

The word “thankful” helps in every situations.
Good or bad.
There is always something to be thanked for.
For few people. And for some other people.

The good.
I’m thankful for the oddest chance to come across you.
I’m thankful for the opportunities to repetitively fix what has been damaged at times.
I’m thankful for the shared moments, spoken and unspoken.
I’m thankful for the patience that grew inside you to keep on dealing with me.
I’m thankful for the laughs and tears that we have shared.
I’m thankful for the things I have learned from you to improve myself.
I’m thankful that you were born.

The bad.
I’m thankful for the learning opportunity to cut toxic people like you off my life.
I’m thankful for the eye-opening chance to see who you truly are.
I’m thankful for the quick run, so I don’t have to heal for too long.
I’m thankful for the pain that I can recover from.
I’m thankful for the stupid things you say for my entertainment.
I’m thankful for the spot that you left for better people in my life.
I’m thankful that you left.

So thank you.
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You know who you are, because I know.

Thankful

Dreamcatcher

All sorts of dreams used to lurk in my brain when I sleep.
Weird, happy, scary dreams.
I don’t know why but my brain does that.

But recently, they stopped.
I can no longer have dreams.

I thought it was because I got a dreamcatcher, but…
it wasn’t the dreamcatcher, it was you.

Because everything that I could only dream of, you made it true.
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The moment I realised you are my dreamcatcher.

Dreamcatcher

Memory Room

I’ve always thought memories are funny,
I forget but I remember.
Sometimes I feel like a dummy,
but sometimes I feel better.

In this small memory room,
there’s us.
Letting our feelings bloom,
it’s just us.

You fill my memory room like no other.
Even if everything else floods out,
I don’t even want to bother.
Because you free me from the drought.

So…stay.
Forever, if you may.
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Because this memory room can only fit us.

Memory Room

Fall

I love heights.
And I love purposely falling off of a high place.

“You’re crazy,” they say.
They who never felt it and who never will.

I love it. It makes me free.
Freefalling had never felt so good until you see the horizon curved under your body.

It’s magnificent. Enthralling. Addictive.

I love you.
And I love falling in love with you more every single day.

“You’re crazy,” they say.
They who never felt it and who never will.

I love it. It makes me free.
Falling had never felt so good until it is for you.

After all, you’re magnificent. Enthralling. Addictive.

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I love you.

Fall

Mine

If only you knew,
how possessive I am of you.

You are mine. Mine.

My head is like a fully grown, mature adult, who knows how to trust.
But my heart is like a 4 year old child getting her candy taken away.

You are mine. Mine.

I want you whole.
I want to leave marks on every inch of you so everyone knows you are mine.

Your eyes. Mine. Please only look at me.
Your smile. Mine. Please smile more for me.
Your chest. Mine. Please only let me rest my head there.
Your arms. Mine. Please only protect me with those arms.
Your feet. Mine. Please only walk by my side.

Your heart. Mine. Please only beat faster for me.
Your lips. Mine. Please only kiss me.

You are mine. Mine.

And I am all yours.
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Possessive.

Mine