All sorts of dreams used to lurk in my brain when I sleep.
Weird, happy, scary dreams.
I don’t know why but my brain does that.
But recently, they stopped.
I can no longer have dreams.
I thought it was because I got a dreamcatcher, but…
it wasn’t the dreamcatcher, it was you.
Because everything that I could only dream of, you made it true.
The moment I realised you are my dreamcatcher.
Those drips of burning alcohol,
I took it without hesitation.
Five, six, seven, then I lost count.
My system digests it too well.
I wanted to get drunk.
So it might just be easier for me to dream of you again.
I was vast asleep, only briefly.
I wanted to see you.
But I woke up in this ungodly hour,
As my playlist was finished.
I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t.
But I can only hurt.
It’s fucking 4:44 am.
Just the darkness enveloping myself.
No more alcohol to knock myself out again.
What am I supposed to do to see you again?
I changed positions hesitantly,
Counting endless numbers,
Listening to my lullaby, my ritual to fall asleep,
Yet, I could only see black.
I wanted to cry, but it wouldn’t fall.
I felt like I would take the fall.
Just in case I could probably see you again.
Do I have to jump?
Do I have to hit the concrete pavement to feel your breath on my neck again?