Prayer

A little girl prays on her knees,
begging to God that one day she will be cherished.
She prayed that as her hair grows to her knees,
her love would also have flourished.

After years, her dreams were shattered,
her heart was hurt,
its pieces were scattered,
her hair was cut short.

She hated God.

For years her hair was kept short,
and she built herself a fort.
She took herself for a fool,
oh how could God be so cruel?

She was told that she was worthless.
She believed that she was undeserving.

A worthless woman, undeserving of love.

So many people God took away from her,
He told her to patiently wait.
Then He sent a man to her,
a man who is set to be her fate.

A man who would cherish her.

As she grows her hair again,
her love will reign,
her love will not go in vain.
_________________________________
Because he made her believe in love and God again.

Prayer

Kiss

The night has come,
Every nerve is craving for your touch.
A kiss as smooth as rum,
I hope I ask not too much.

Kiss me and let it linger,
trace it with the tip of your finger.
And then kiss me more,
after all, these lips are yours.

Every touch, every caress,
turns me into your princess.

Bind me with your spell,
that doesn’t disappear past midnight.
Even if we hear the bell,
everything is going to be alright.
__________________________________
Because no matter what, you’re my prince.

Kiss

Dreamcatcher

All sorts of dreams used to lurk in my brain when I sleep.
Weird, happy, scary dreams.
I don’t know why but my brain does that.

But recently, they stopped.
I can no longer have dreams.

I thought it was because I got a dreamcatcher, but…
it wasn’t the dreamcatcher, it was you.

Because everything that I could only dream of, you made it true.
_________________________________
The moment I realised you are my dreamcatcher.

Dreamcatcher

Fall

I love heights.
And I love purposely falling off of a high place.

“You’re crazy,” they say.
They who never felt it and who never will.

I love it. It makes me free.
Freefalling had never felt so good until you see the horizon curved under your body.

It’s magnificent. Enthralling. Addictive.

I love you.
And I love falling in love with you more every single day.

“You’re crazy,” they say.
They who never felt it and who never will.

I love it. It makes me free.
Falling had never felt so good until it is for you.

After all, you’re magnificent. Enthralling. Addictive.

________________________________________________
I love you.

Fall

Sensations

No alcohol in my system but my heart is burning,
just a soft, gentle warmth from the fire.
No caffeine in my system but my heart is racing,
just a steady pace like a rolling tire.

Just a familiar sensation.

In the silence of the night I could hear everything.
Cars passing, hammers clanking, fan spinning.
People laughing, random knocking, my heart beating.
Well I was still alone, really, if anything.

Just a familiar sensation.

The soft warm blanket wrapped around my body.
Couldn’t even bother to make it tidy.
Staring at the blank ceiling.
Just quietly wishing for something.

Just a familiar sensation.

Winter is approaching and I am waiting,
but winter is coming slowly and it’s cold.
Now, really, what exactly am I waiting?
Probably waiting for the rest of my life, so I’ve been told.

Just a familiar sensation.

____________________________________________
Because the nights are getting colder.

Sensations

Awake

You were my dreamcatcher.
The sweet dreams I had were no longer.
It all now feels like the longest nightmare.
Full of horror, tears, and scaretale.

“Good night. Sweet dreams.”
I repeated to myself like a spell.
Your last words when you put me to bed, well,
the last night I had a sweet dream.

Being awake is like a walking nightmare.
Because in this nightmare, there’s no you.
I closed my eyes and made a wish, but it did not matter,
because even when I opened them, there’s no you.

Does she make you happier?
Does she light up your heart like a sunny day?
Does she make you feel like you’re the luckiest person?
Because you did.

Tell me how can I sleep when every nerve on my body is yearning for you?

The tears of laughter turned into just tears.
Tears, tears, tears.
Drying up on my pillow.
Painful lump of tears that I have to swallow.

Because every waking moment just reminds me how you’re not here.
Every waking moment I spend by myself.
“Morning,” I say to myself.
Because what morning is good without you here?

________________________________________________
Morning.

Awake

Mirror

A bouquet of peonies in her hand,
She walks down the aisle,
With the brightest smile,
Following the rhythm of the band.

Her world is filled with peonies and roses,
Unspoken beauty that shines from within,
Not merely showered with a thousand promises,
But sincere acts that come from within.

Holding onto the love in her heart,
She has always been happy from the start,
And she never had to ever part,
Never had to ever feel a broken heart.

I was supposed to be her,
But I got dragged into the mirror.
Filled with fears and horror,
I was no longer her.

I am only a shadow in the mirror.
Cannot be seen, cannot be heard.
Behind this mirror only lies terror.
Cannot be seen, cannot be heard.

I walk with a time bomb clutching my heart,
It clutches so tightly it suffocates me,
But I don’t know how to get it off my heart,
And I don’t know how long until it explodes inside me.

Look down, keep looking down.
Don’t breathe too hard, don’t breathe too deep.

Let me get back to be her again!
Let me hold that bouquet of peonies again!

But a resounding “No, no, no,” comes from the ghost of haunted past.
“Stay here with me,” he said as he ties up my limbs.

I am only a shadow in the mirror.
Cannot be seen, cannot be heard.
What do I have to do to get out of this horror?
When my screams for help cannot be heard…

Mirror

Dreams, Dreams, Dreams.

I know how it feels to be living in your dream. 

Not the one where you feel like your dreams came true,

but literally you are living and breathing inside your dream.

You hate waking up because you wake up in a foreign place.

You can’t wait to fall asleep and drift into your dreams, every single night. 

Why?

Because in your dreams, he’s there. Smiling at you. Holding your hand. 

Just the two of you holding a seemingly endless conversation with an endless stash of hazelnut latte in your hands.

You can do whatever you both want. 

No rules, no restrictions, no judgments. No one else but you two.

He glides the palm of his hand against your cheek as he softly says, “I love you,”

You smiled at him, but as you were about to reply to his words, you woke up.

Alone in your bed.

While you slowly try to wake up, the warmth you felt on your cheek slowly disappeared.

Disappearing into the void.

It was then replaced by the warmth from your own tears.

You figuratively hit yourself in the head, having to constantly remind yourself that it did not happen.

Oh, but you wish it did. Or it will. 

You feel angry all the time because you are sick. 

Sick of all the terrible things happening in the real world.

None of these things happened in your dream.

You want to escape.

You want to live in your dream forever.

You know exactly the quickest route to escape.

But will you do it?

Dreams, Dreams, Dreams.

My Dreams Saga #3: Weird Pre-exam Dreams

Sorry for the lack of updates, like I said, I had my 1st exam of the semester this morning at 8 am (heck, I’ve been waking up at 11am for the past few months…) so I was determined to sleep early, like before midnight kind of early so I can wake up at 6 and have time to kick-start my brain before the actual exam. With this kind of thought in my head before I went to sleep, of course I was in for a weird dream (or two). This reminds me of how some of my friends have dreams that they wake up late for the exam and this causes them to actually wake up on time (with anxiety tho…so it’s not a pleasant feeling at all). That was not the case last night. As usual, I had two epic dreams that I could not put together in one storyline.

The first dream I had was about Hongbin. He’s a member of a K-pop boyband called VIXX, and I’ve been obsessed about him lately so I was pretty certain he would show up in my dreams soon. Oh and he looked like this in the dream:

Image

 

Credit: on the photo

He surprisingly had the similar jacket on and the same hairstyle as the one in the photo, which is to be honest, not my favourite look from him, because I still prefer him with long hair.  Anyways, he’s actually one year younger than me (I was born in 1992, him in 1993), so in my dreams he was my junior in the university. The thing was that, I was already in the Masters program, and he was just about to graduate. For some reasons I didn’t even know, I was the one who handled the applications for the Masters program scholarships (this is just weird…). So he approached me and asked about the scholarship, and we basically just talked a lot in my dreams so there was nothing really special going on, really. 

Then I woke up at 4.50 am, so I decided to go to sleep again, while hoping something interesting would happen between Hongbin and I…because I sometimes can continue my dreams from where it left off like that hahaha. Fate decided to give me an epic dream instead. 

The second part of the dream involved Hugh Jackman (where did Hongbin go??), whom I don’t mind at all because I love him. The dream evolved to be about an epic adventure…in RUSSIA. My dream was just exactly like a generic Hollywood spy movie, with Hugh Jackman as the spy and me as the sidekick/sexy lady companion (ha I wish)/the one he needs to save. There were a lot of shootings and running involved, with Hugh Jackman holding my hand the whole time (except for the part where he tried to jump into a pool in an abandoned building to hide from our enemies…only to find that the pool was like ocean-deep and there were sharks inside lol). I think in one of the moments we were jumping from roofs to roofs, I finally woke up. 

So those were practically my two weird dreams I had before an exam. The exam went incredibly well, by the way. Just one more to go and I’m a free (wo)man! So, do you guys ever had weird dreams before an important exam or placement tests?

My Dreams Saga #3: Weird Pre-exam Dreams