She worked a job with no past experience,
no university degrees to help her excel,
devoting her life to raise good people,
trying to make just a little difference.
She’s a human being with flaws,
but she’s only doing her best.
She always says she is blessed,
because she has me as her cause.
We agree on some things,
about people and spreading kindness.
We disagree on many things,
about the world and about ourselves.
Emotions are hard to keep,
even though we try hard to ignore.
In silence she did not weep,
but the weight of pain in her eyes she bore.
In her flaws she is still perfection,
as no one could have done her job better than her.
She guided me in to the right direction,
even though I end up in a different place from her.
In her eyes there was still disappointment,
not of me, but of herself.
Despite her flaws, she did nothing wrong,
and there are no reasons for me to be gone.
She is weeping silently through her eyes,
but I only pray to God, someday please bring back her smile.
Even if the rest of my life is an atonement
for breaking her heart.
Two imperfect pieces,
with different grooves and edges.
Each were not broken nor incomplete,
each were perfectly neat.
Where one was lacking, the other had more,
and in that empty space, they meet.
Like the perfect snug, they fit.
No need to search for a missing piece anymore.
Put together, pulled apart through time,
and distance that is far.
No matter how pulled apart they are,
they will be put together in time.
Because they are the imperfect pieces that fit perfectly only with each other.
And when they are together, everything makes sense again.
Have I ever told you why I hate closing my eyes and sleep?
Because I can reach out to you when I’m awake
When the nightmares are chasing me,
it’s easy to wake up because you are my reality
I used to live in the field of dreams,
but the reality is better than what it seems
Because you are there
I’m lying awake,
afraid of what will show up if I close my eyes.
I’m lying awake,
because I want to see you again.
Si vis amari, ama.
A little girl prays on her knees,
begging to God that one day she will be cherished.
She prayed that as her hair grows to her knees,
her love would also have flourished.
After years, her dreams were shattered,
her heart was hurt,
its pieces were scattered,
her hair was cut short.
She hated God.
For years her hair was kept short,
and she built herself a fort.
She took herself for a fool,
oh how could God be so cruel?
She was told that she was worthless.
She believed that she was undeserving.
A worthless woman, undeserving of love.
So many people God took away from her,
He told her to patiently wait.
Then He sent a man to her,
a man who is set to be her fate.
A man who would cherish her.
As she grows her hair again,
her love will reign,
her love will not go in vain.
Because he made her believe in love and God again.
Waiting for the sun to rise only to have the urge to throw it back into the horizon,
because we are not allowed to meet under the light of sunshine.
Through the day I can just carry on,
waiting for the time that you can be all mine.
Episodes and hours passed by,
and suddenly I was greeted by the midnight moon light.
Ignoring the ache so it goes by,
I sneak into the blanket and turn off the light.
I close my eyes as I hold on to your note,
even then only your voice rings in my head.
The night is already dead,
cold inside this cote.
So good night, baby. Good night.
Like these drops of water on the palm of my hands,
everyone is slipping away.
This wasn’t part of the plans,
much to my dismay.
The question is not “what happened?”,
but rather “why don’t they stay?”
Because now that it’s mentioned,
From me…I, too, would walk away.
I’m a tough wall with no ears,
I’m a soft ball with the tears.
And this further confirms my fears,
that I will be lonely in many years.
Maybe I am not good enough,
maybe I am undeserving.
Maybe I am rough,
maybe I am annoying.
If God is taking people away from me, maybe I never deserved them in the first place.
Because for something that looks so beautiful
like those endless glassy smiles on your faces
maggots crawl through your cracks
and smells that are more raw than faeces.
Never trust a smile on the first glance.