“I’m fine,”
while clenching my fists,
clenching my teeth.

What if I say I’m not fine?
What if I hurt their feelings?
What if I am seen as selfish?

“I’m fine,”
while clenching my fists,
clenching my teeth.

Well I have to be okay.
Just clench and deal with it.
It’s not important.

“I’m fine,”
while clenching my fists,
clenching my teeth.

I want to whine.
I want to breakdown.
I want to cry.

“I’m fine,”
while clenching my fists,
clenching my teeth.

Stop it, you’re being selfish now.
Just go to sleep.
It will be okay tomorrow.

“I guess I will be fine,”
slowly exhaling deeply,
releasing my tension.

I just wanted to hear that it’s okay for me to breakdown for a mere 5 seconds. And a hug.


Tick Tock

Tick. Tock.
can’t sleep.
Tick. Tock.
can’t breathe.
chaos chaos chaos
in my brain?
or wait.
is it in my heart?
chaos chaos chaos
like a tangled spiderweb.
chaos chaos chaos
fire in the hole!
then drowning.
Tick. Tock.
what the fuck am I even on about.

Tick Tock


As I close the door
to set my steps on the world
I took a glance back
but was more excited on the view of what was coming

I have wandered
I have challenged
I have been afraid
I have been curious
I have their faith
I have their trust

Every step forward I have taken
has only been possible because of the safe security of home

Because no matter how far I go
Their love never cease to exist

Because I am blessed with the kindest home.



Amongst the still-glimmering stars in the night sky,

You came like a shooting star.

With an intensity so high,

Aiming to travel far.

You may be brief but you were bright,

Although your time has passed I remember your light.


Even though the world was unjust,

You have no more worries, you’re a stardust.


Her Eyes

She worked a job with no past experience,
no university degrees to help her excel,
devoting her life to raise good people,
trying to make just a little difference.

She’s a human being with flaws,
but she’s only doing her best.
She always says she is blessed,
because she has me as her cause.

We agree on some things,
about people and spreading kindness.
We disagree on many things,
about the world and about ourselves.

Emotions are hard to keep,
even though we try hard to ignore.
In silence she did not weep,
but the weight of pain in her eyes she bore.

In her flaws she is still perfection,
as no one could have done her job better than her.
She guided me in to the right direction,
even though I end up in a different place from her.

In her eyes there was still disappointment,
not of me, but of herself.
Despite her flaws, she did nothing wrong,
and there are no reasons for me to be gone.

She is weeping silently through her eyes,
but I only pray to God, someday please bring back her smile.

Even if the rest of my life is an atonement
for breaking her heart.

Her Eyes

Milky Rain

The dripping noise of the rain feels longing,
the warmth of the bed sheet that feels half missing.

The rain lulls me to sleep tonight,
with an umbrella that is the moonlight.

I long for the milky rain,
the one we dont need an umbrella for.

Milky Rain


Have I ever told you why I hate closing my eyes and sleep?
Because I can reach out to you when I’m awake

When the nightmares are chasing me,
it’s easy to wake up because you are my reality

I used to live in the field of dreams,
but the reality is better than what it seems

Because you are there

I’m lying awake,
afraid of what will show up if I close my eyes.

I’m lying awake,
because I want to see you again.
Si vis amari, ama.