A•byss (əˈbɪs) – n. a deep, immeasurable space or cavity; vast chasm.

I’ve been living my life walking on a thin thread between love and logic,
Constantly trying to balance myself just so I won’t fall.
I can only try to stand tall,
and avoid the life trap that is tragic.

The balancing rod I am holding,
is something I call ‘friend’.
They help me to get a grip of where I am standing,
keeping my stand so I won’t bend.

I once almost fell to the pit of love,
hanging hopelessly on the thin thread with one hand, holding the balancing rod on the other.
I gripped my balancing rod tightly, trying to climb up above,
I pushed myself so that I was hanging no further.

Re-adjusting my balance, I walked forward.
Through the mist of uncertainty,
to get to the future of the unknown.

I’m slipping slowly to the pit of logic,
to the heartlessness that is so toxic.
Slowly becoming a machine,
surely becoming a heartless queen.

I once almost fell to the pit of joyous foolishness,
I’m slipping slowly to the pit of mechanical sanctuary.

Along this thin thread I’m walking on,
Even though I’m avoiding the pits of love and logic,
I am already in the abyss.
Should I be safe or should I be a fool?

A•byss (əˈbɪs) – n. a deep, immeasurable space or cavity; vast chasm.

My Dreams Saga #3: Weird Pre-exam Dreams

Sorry for the lack of updates, like I said, I had my 1st exam of the semester this morning at 8 am (heck, I’ve been waking up at 11am for the past few months…) so I was determined to sleep early, like before midnight kind of early so I can wake up at 6 and have time to kick-start my brain before the actual exam. With this kind of thought in my head before I went to sleep, of course I was in for a weird dream (or two). This reminds me of how some of my friends have dreams that they wake up late for the exam and this causes them to actually wake up on time (with anxiety tho…so it’s not a pleasant feeling at all). That was not the case last night. As usual, I had two epic dreams that I could not put together in one storyline.

The first dream I had was about Hongbin. He’s a member of a K-pop boyband called VIXX, and I’ve been obsessed about him lately so I was pretty certain he would show up in my dreams soon. Oh and he looked like this in the dream:

Image

 

Credit: on the photo

He surprisingly had the similar jacket on and the same hairstyle as the one in the photo, which is to be honest, not my favourite look from him, because I still prefer him with long hair.  Anyways, he’s actually one year younger than me (I was born in 1992, him in 1993), so in my dreams he was my junior in the university. The thing was that, I was already in the Masters program, and he was just about to graduate. For some reasons I didn’t even know, I was the one who handled the applications for the Masters program scholarships (this is just weird…). So he approached me and asked about the scholarship, and we basically just talked a lot in my dreams so there was nothing really special going on, really. 

Then I woke up at 4.50 am, so I decided to go to sleep again, while hoping something interesting would happen between Hongbin and I…because I sometimes can continue my dreams from where it left off like that hahaha. Fate decided to give me an epic dream instead. 

The second part of the dream involved Hugh Jackman (where did Hongbin go??), whom I don’t mind at all because I love him. The dream evolved to be about an epic adventure…in RUSSIA. My dream was just exactly like a generic Hollywood spy movie, with Hugh Jackman as the spy and me as the sidekick/sexy lady companion (ha I wish)/the one he needs to save. There were a lot of shootings and running involved, with Hugh Jackman holding my hand the whole time (except for the part where he tried to jump into a pool in an abandoned building to hide from our enemies…only to find that the pool was like ocean-deep and there were sharks inside lol). I think in one of the moments we were jumping from roofs to roofs, I finally woke up. 

So those were practically my two weird dreams I had before an exam. The exam went incredibly well, by the way. Just one more to go and I’m a free (wo)man! So, do you guys ever had weird dreams before an important exam or placement tests?

My Dreams Saga #3: Weird Pre-exam Dreams

My Dreams Saga #2: Choi Siwon was My Husband

I have no idea why I kept having dreams about relationships, but this one is hilarious because it kind of follows my epic photo with Choi Siwon. Image

If you have no idea who he is, he’s one of the members of Super Junior (the K-pop group). I took this photo quite a while ago out of boredom and creativity sparks. Anyways, in my (relatively short but epic) dreams last night, he was my husband. The dream mostly involved normal marriage life during the beginning…and then it changed into Freaky Friday sort of thing.

Yes, in my dreams, because we had a fight, Siwon and I switched bodies (involuntarily, of course). So in the middle part towards the end of the dream, I was in Siwon’s body, and he was in mine. It was an indescribable feeling, but I liked it. He panicked more than I did, I actually quite enjoyed the time I spent in his body, being handsome and rugged and all that. Apparently he didn’t enjoy having boobs. 

Then the journey continued to “trying to get back into our own bodies”. He literally asked everyone how to get back to his own body, until this powerful witch came along and brought us back to normal. Bummer. Then I woke up.

My Dreams Saga #2: Choi Siwon was My Husband

The Dreams Saga #1: Dangerous Boyfriend

With this post, I’m announcing a new section to this blog, which is called “The Dreams Saga” because, well it’s pretty self-explanatory, but my dreams are truly too epic beyond proportions most of the time. Unlike people who mostly forget their dreams, I can remember my most epic dreams for quite a long time. Long enough to let me sit down and write it down in this blog.

This dream I just had last night involved some of my high school friends, let’s call them Y and T (does NOT stand for YouTube). So I was attending this jazz festival in Jakarta (which I would totally never attend…like ever…just because I’m not into those jazz festivals). Another weird thing was that I went there by myself. The festival was an outdoor one, and there were those tents to cover you from the sun and rain with lines of elevating seats (?). Since I was going alone, I didn’t bother getting a fantastic seating spot and just settled for the less crowded spot at the back.

I climbed up the stairs to get to the seats and I just sat there, looking at the swarming crowd trying to get the nice spot closer to the stage. Then I looked to the seat on the far left in the line, there was a baby. A freaking crying baby. The baby was roughly 6 months old? I don’t know, but the baby was lying on the seat, alone. I was surprised because I saw no adults near the baby. I felt pretty disturbed (and scared) with the baby crying, so I went over to the seat and tried to calm down the baby.

If anyone of you really know me, I’m terrible with kids and babies. Apparently even in my dreams, I was still terrible with babies, and the baby just couldn’t calm down at all. I held the baby in my arms and kept trying to calm her/him down. Then this guy, who was probably a few years older than me, came to me and said that it was his baby. For the record, he looked way too young to have a baby.

As terrible as I was with a baby, I knew enough not to trust him and handle the baby because he looked kind of out of place. He was wearing a thick black trench coat over his shirt, I mean come on, if this was Jakarta, you would be dead from the heat already. I refused to give the baby to him and stood up to walk away. As I was walking away, I looked back and noticed he didn’t try to chase after me, which was great. I walked down the stairs and I met my friend, Y, who looked really surprised as I was holding a baby. She thought the baby was mine, and I told her it wasn’t, I just happened to find the baby alone. Even she thought that was really weird.

Somehow we ended up sitting next to each other and talking about random things because we haven’t seen each other in a long time. After quite sometime, the previous man came to us again and asked me for the baby, who had finally calmed down and stopped crying. Y thought he was the real father of the baby, so she looked at me and was about to grab the baby from my arm to give to him. I held the baby back and told her that I won’t give him the baby. All of a sudden, this guy took A FREAKING SWORD from behind his coat and we just ran that instant.

Y and I were running together trying to find a safe place (completely forgetting about the jazz festival lol) to hide from him. We were running around the arena, but we lost him so we thought we were safe. Then we met our other friend, T. Just like Y, T teased me because she thought that the baby I was holding was mine. After explaining the whole situation to her, she finally grasped the situation Y and I were in and we agreed to stick together.

While walking around, we were talking about things and T mentioned that she actually went with her boyfriend to the festival but he was going somewhere else for the time being. Then a guy called her name and T excitedly said, “That’s my boyfriend, guys!” and when Y and I turned around, we were horrified to see that her boyfriend was the guy who was chasing us previously. Y and I immediately ran away and sometime in the middle of our escape mission where we were trying to fit in the crowd to get away, THE BABY DISAPPEARED FROM MY HANDS.

The insane guy stood there in front of us with the baby magically in his hands, and he took off his face mask and suddenly he turned into an old grandpa with white, messy beard, and he raised his sword while Y and I were panicking and screaming and trying to get away, only to find out that our dear friend T was caught in this guy’s hypnosis and strangled us and I woke up.

 

MORAL OF THE STORY: PLEASE ALWAYS DO A BACKGROUND CHECK ON YOUR BOYFRIEND BEFORE HE GOES OUT AND KILLS YOUR FRIENDS. LOL

 

Freud’s Possible Interpretation (FPI): the baby represents something that is not mine but is precious to me and the guy. I wonder what it is…

The Dreams Saga #1: Dangerous Boyfriend