The word “thankful” helps in every situations.
Good or bad.
There is always something to be thanked for.
For few people. And for some other people.

The good.
I’m thankful for the oddest chance to come across you.
I’m thankful for the opportunities to repetitively fix what has been damaged at times.
I’m thankful for the shared moments, spoken and unspoken.
I’m thankful for the patience that grew inside you to keep on dealing with me.
I’m thankful for the laughs and tears that we have shared.
I’m thankful for the things I have learned from you to improve myself.
I’m thankful that you were born.

The bad.
I’m thankful for the learning opportunity to cut toxic people like you off my life.
I’m thankful for the eye-opening chance to see who you truly are.
I’m thankful for the quick run, so I don’t have to heal for too long.
I’m thankful for the pain that I can recover from.
I’m thankful for the stupid things you say for my entertainment.
I’m thankful for the spot that you left for better people in my life.
I’m thankful that you left.

So thank you.
You know who you are, because I know.



There are three kinds of people.
People who build a brick fort,
People who build a wooden cabin,
And people who build a glass building.

People who build a brick fort.

Strong and stern from the outside.
You think it will be cold and there will be nothing inside.
You need a special key to unlock the door,
Or they have to let you in.

But once you step in, it feels like home.
There is warmth.
There is love.
You feel safe and secured from the dangers outside the fort.

People who build a wooden cabin.

Solid, yet looks comfortable and homey.
There are small windows to peek inside.
There are front doors and back doors.
Sometimes, they share their keys with you if they want to let you in.

Once you step in, it feels familiar.
Everything is as you would expect from a wooden cabin.
There are little surprises here and there, like an early Christmas morning,
But no plot twists, no threats.

People who build a glass building.

Beautiful, open, and observable from the outside.
With exquisite and enticing display.
They lure you in with their openness.
Their sliding doors constantly opens and closes, easily giving you access in.

Once you step in, there are more doors, more displays, more mirrors.
You could only see reflections of yourself along with their display.
Like a store, as seasons change, the display changes.
You think you know them, but you don’t.

So…which one are you?



I love heights.
And I love purposely falling off of a high place.

“You’re crazy,” they say.
They who never felt it and who never will.

I love it. It makes me free.
Freefalling had never felt so good until you see the horizon curved under your body.

It’s magnificent. Enthralling. Addictive.

I love you.
And I love falling in love with you more every single day.

“You’re crazy,” they say.
They who never felt it and who never will.

I love it. It makes me free.
Falling had never felt so good until it is for you.

After all, you’re magnificent. Enthralling. Addictive.

I love you.


My World

I’m facing the world of my own reality.
The world with my fears, joys, and fantasy.
You are the only one I see.
I wanted you to come with me.

But you see,
In the present reality,
We are really,
Like fire and wind.

You are my fire,
lights up my heart and warms up my soul.
I’m the wind,
floating around and flying free.

When the wind blows gently, it can put out the small fire.
But the wind can also make the fire bigger.
But with just the right amount of pressure,
we should be able to work together.

But the wind cannot stop moving to dock,
because I have nothing to hold on my fingers.
I wish you were here so we could stop the clock,
because the time is slipping off my fingers.

When did our discussions turn into arguments?
When did our playful teases turn into scars?
When did our pleasure turn into torment?
When did our love got lost in between the stars?

I’m floating endlessly in the air, wondering,
what happened to us, darling?

In that small gift box are all the memories of us,
so sometimes I can sit down and cherish us.
It’s okay, I’m walking slowly now,
But I won’t erase you, that’s my vow.
My world is mine and is only through my eyes.

My World

My Dearest KDR Family

I took small steps towards this massive studio with wooden floors,
slightly running out of breath from running up the flight of stairs,
alone and slightly intimidated, but eager and determined,
I walked in to this new world I have never been before.

Bright, cheerful K-pop beats blasted from behind that white door,
Should I walk in? Should I walk away?
I’ve put in the effort to come, so I walked in.
All these new faces I could not recognise, greeted with warmth.

A petite girl, with long hair and wears glasses, greeted me first.
She knew I was nervous, I could tell. Without her greetings, I probably wouldn’t’ve came to class again.
With such a bright smile, she welcomed me and introduced herself, her name was Eva.
Knowing her real age was the most shocking moment I’ve ever had in my life.

I looked to the other side of the room, the dance teacher was very energetic.
He seemed like he was a fully charged alkaline battery.
His name was John, and I thought he was Indonesian, too. Or maybe that we were related somehow.
He is now one of my best friends, my twinsie, to be exact.

As I paid the class fee, another girl with a friendly smile greeted me.
She had a beautiful silky long hair and a charming smile.
I remember when I saw her dancing for the first time, I thought she was an amazing dancer.
She was the first member I got very close with.

I remember seeing a lot of people, but I remember three guys and one girl in particular.
Deric, Rashaun, Jake, and Theresa.

They all seemed really close and they were also really loud, mostly Theresa though, with a lot of teasing from Rashaun and Jake.
They may seem intimidating at first, but they asked me if I enjoyed the class, so I thought they were really friendly, too.

Compared to everyone else, I wasn’t that knowledgeable in K-pop, so I felt intimidated.
I kept coming to class because of these people.
They are all very different from each other, but they were connected through the same interests.
I felt like I want to be a part of their world. To be a part of them.

Going to dance classes felt like the highlight of the week.
It became something I really look forward to. It became a part of my routine.
The more time I spent with these guys, the more I enjoyed their company.
We even started to hang out together outside of classes and got chances to perform in public.

Somewhere along the journey, I got to meet some more amazing people.
JD, Gisselle, Liv, Laura, and EK.
They are unique in their own ways, and when one of them didn’t show up to class, it felt different.

JD who is very knowledgeable in games and is a wonderful dancer,

Gisselle, Liv, and Laura who are quiet but when talking about their favourite idols they would have a very bright spark in their eyes,

and the doll-like EK who is just one of the funniest and the most adorable persons I’ve ever known in my life.

The more we travelled along this journey together, the more I got to know about everyone.
Deric, who is always calm and collected, yet he always knows how to react in every situations. Did I mention that he is also very sneaky? He is the calm troll.

Eva, who is the oldest between us, yet she is very young-spirited and very loveable. Did I mention that she has a very sexy look on her face when she’s dancing?
Janis, who is usually calm, yet when she laughs she doesn’t stop until she cries and she needs a box of tissues. Did I mention that she is also an amazing actress with a hint of 4-D awesomeness?
Theresa, who is very loud, yet you know when you come to her with your problems, she will try her best to help you out. Did I mention that she is also an amazing stylist?

Rashaun, who is also very loud, yet he is very critical about things and always point out things that the rest of us might fail to see. Did I mention that he freestyles really well?

John, who is very professional and takes his dance teaching career seriously, yet he is an incredibly funny person and has the best laugh I’ve ever heard. Did I mention that he is only 22 years old?

Besides them, later on I met one more person that I never thought would end up being my best friend.
She joined us the latest, yet she managed to capture everyone’s hearts because she is that loveable.
She’s not just an amazing dancer and photographer, but also an amazing friend.
Her name is Erin.

Erin, you are one of the greatest friends I’ve ever known and I love you for it.
I can’t even say how amazing you really are.
You. Are. Im. Pres. Sive. 😉

Together, we’ve been through many ups and downs.
I think I actually got a lot of abs exercise from all of our KDHD moments.
Especially the day we decided to prank John on his birthday.
Never did I thought that I would get a surprise party in return.

Earlier today, these guys prepared a surprise party for me before I leave.
I did not understand what the surprise was until I saw the whiteboard and the decorated wall.
So, I’m sorry if my reaction wasn’t as great as you guys expected!
I have been fasting all day and my brain could not process things fast.

I couldn’t handle 3 Leos and 2 Florals!!!

Still, I appreciate what you guys did, it was really sweet as I’ve never had that before.
As I’m typing this and trying to remember what happened today, I could feel my tears coming up while I smile.
I promised myself not to cry, because this won’t be the end.
And even though I’m leaving on Monday, I will come back soon. For good.

I have spent about one year with them, and I intend to spend a lot more in the future.
As we had moved studios twice, our relationship grew deeper.
We no longer dance in the same studio we all first met, but we are still friends because we love it.
We dance together, we laugh together.

I really think of you guys as my family.
Thank you for everything.
I’ll see you guys again soon 🙂

My Dearest KDR Family

Post-Exam Madness

Well, hello there, my friends! (You, you know who you are)

So I’ve been pretty much on a hiatus for the past 2 weeks or so and it was due to my exam period. I only had two exams, but since these two will be my last exams in the undergraduate program (cue complaints-about-how-freaking-old-i-feel in 3…2…), I had to make sure I was studying properly. 

This was an old photo when I was stressing out with final assignments, but this photo pretty much represents my condition while studying for exams anyway…

So my exams went pretty well, I’d say. There was this weird feeling of “is-this-how-freedom-feels-like” when I walked out of the last exam. From now on I’ll be doing things such as getting ready to move out, preparing for my graduation, ordering my graduation dress, waiting for my Masters degree offer (fingers crossed I’ll get it!)…

People do different things after they had just finished their final (final) exams, some people have a feast in a good quality restaurant, some people drink until they pass out, some people party hard or go pub crawling…and then there are some people like me. 

Right after my exam, I went straight to my K-pop dance class and jammed like nuts because I’ve been missing the classes for a week to focus on my study. It was the perfect moment that we learned Teen Top’s “Crazy” for the casual class. After the classes were over, John (my dance mentor) said that we should go out today and do some filming on random spots in Brisbane city for our promotional video. Erin, Dayne, Emily, and I were available today so we just decided that we will meet up in the city at 11 am.

While we were talking about our plans on Facebook last night, I just thought of something fun. You see, today was supposed to be a National Pyjamas Day (, so my friend who is a volunteer for the Pyjama Foundation told me about it and I was so keen so I told my friends that we should totally shoot some public k-pop dancing videos in our pyjamas. In the end, only Emily joined me in her disguised pyjamas though. I rocked my hot red penguin pyjamas and bunny ears, dancing K-pop songs in public. 

You can see a bit of my pyjamas (and John’s face) here

Why? Well, because why the hell not.

We were pretty concerned this morning because it rained pretty much the whole night and day today, but we didn’t give up and insisted to continue with our video shooting (it didn’t rain that hard anyway, who are you to rain on my parade!)! I’ll post the video up when we’ve got it edited and good to go 🙂 Dayne helped us with the recording, and then Vitale and Taichi also joined us for some good fun! Oh, and Taichi also wore his sleeping attire, but not as bright as my pyjamas though. 

Honestly, I was worrying a lot when I left my house, but then the longer the time went, the more I went “ah well, whatever”. I noticed a lot of WTF stares from people, there was even this girl who tried to flick my bunny ears when I went to Coles (to buy a bottle of water). Then the sweet Coles cashier girl smiled really brightly and said “Your bunny ears are so cute! And your hair looks awesome!” and that just really made my day. One more reason to love Brisbane: the random comments you get from strangers when you stand out in public.

Good things really do happen when you don’t care what other people think and you just know that you’re having fun with your great friends 🙂 So here’s a snapshot of us today (courtesy of Erin’s camera)

Top row (left-right): Taichi, me, Dayne, Vitale
Bottom row (left-right): Emily, John, Erin

From now on I’ll try to be more active here, you’ll see! Good night!


Post-Exam Madness

My Random Stupidities #1: Cleaning a Pan

So earlier today I had a dinner with my dear best friend, Inez, and we somehow ended up talking about my random stupidities and how she said I should write it down or record it somehow. It’s quite hard (and embarrassing) to re-do these stupidities, I’ll just write down of the things that had happened. 

This one was probably the starter of it all. So Inez was hanging around in my house one afternoon, and after I made lunch for both of us (I remember it was chicken karaage), I started washing the dishes. Since I used oil to fry the karaage in the pan, I put some water in the pan and boil it so the leftover oil could be easily cleaned afterwards rather than just washing the pan directly.

I knew it would take some time, so I left the pan on the stove and went to my room to watch a video with Inez. We were both so into watching the video that we both completely forgot about the pan. After about 15 minutes, we could hear this noise that sounded like it was raining outside. We both looked outside the window, but it was so bright outside. I felt weird that it could rain in this kind of weather, but I didn’t think about it much and kept watching the video.

Around 10 minutes later, Inez asked me, “Is it really raining outside??” and I just said I don’t know. Then I could see the stove from my room (because I left my bedroom door open) and realised that I still had the stove on. I panicked and ran to check the pan.

The water was gone. 


It was boiling for so long…that the water evaporated completely and made those “rain noises”. 

Never in my life before that I boiled some water until it was all gone. I remember going back to my room and told Inez that the water evaporated completely and she literally fell from my bed and laughed until she cried. 

This is only a start to the series of My Random Stupidities, so stay tuned and watch this space!

My Random Stupidities #1: Cleaning a Pan

Teach Me How to Love

Love is unexplainable, yet everyone insists that it exists.

Love is untouchable, yet people say it is real.

I’m not talking about a mother’s eternal love for her child,

I’m talking about the bond between two human beings as partners.

I don’t know how it feels, as simple as that.

I need someone to appear in my life to show me that it is real.

Love makes you all giggly and happy, yet it tears your heart and soul apart at the same time.

…or so they say.

Why would anyone sacrifice themselves for such complex feelings?

Love is different from friendship.

…why do they differ?

Friendship is something that lasts forever, it’s something beautiful.

It makes you all giggly and happy, yet it does not tear your heart and soul apart at the same time.

Why would people choose love over friendship?

Why aren’t people in love with their friends?

Love is foreign for my logic.

And until the day someone can prove me otherwise, I still can’t accept this.

With my logic, I’m a fool who can’t understand love.

I’m no better than those fools in love.

I’m no less than those who understand love.

I have a brain that I know how to use properly,

I have a heart, yet I don’t know how to utilise it.

I’ve been looking for someone to help me understand love.

I found none.

If you would help me, that would be much appreciated, my friend.

I know that once I understand love,

I will never let it go.

So teach me how to love,

and I will forever be yours.


Teach Me How to Love