I never liked hot days.
With the sun glaring at my skin,
darkening it at every second,
all I could feel was beads of sweat trickling down my skin.
Then cue sweaty clothes, sticky hair, and increasing consciousness of one’s own body odour.
All I could think of was how awful this hell was.
You pulled my hand and said, “Let’s not take things for granted,”
Today was sunny, but it wasn’t bad.
Was it because of your hand holding mine?
I could feel the sun lightly kissing my skin,
the wind tickling the back of my neck,
and the fresh smell of frangipani relaxing my mind.
I could see the joy in other people’s faces,
I wonder what is making them smile right now,
because I take one look at you and I know my reason.
Today was sunny, but I liked it.
You are my sunshine.
But how can I not smile,
when every time I look at you,
I see you fathering our children.
A quarter century passed in a blink of an eye.
Laughter, sweat, and tears became impossible to count.
But even with the uncountable arguments, heartbreaks, and tearful nights,
I have received even more blessings, joy, and love.
Because from birth, the greatest gift I have ever received is love.
“What would you like to get as your birthday gift?”
The thing is I never prepared an answer for this.
A gift is a sincere thought.
That the gifter sees this item and thought,
“she will love this” or “this is just the thing for her”
The best part of receiving a gift is the suspense as you open the wrapping,
wondering what this person decided to give.
It could range from anything cheap and useful, to something branded and expensive.
But you would never know unless you decide to open the wrapping.
I have asked God for many gifts,
many gifts that He decided not to give.
Not because He did not want to give,
but because He has a better gift.
A gift that He knew would be just the best for me.
A gift that was unexpected when I unwrapped it, but God knew that I will love.
A gift that God knew that I will take care of.
A gift that will last a lifetime.
An early birthday gift for me,
is the day you were born.
A little girl prays on her knees,
begging to God that one day she will be cherished.
She prayed that as her hair grows to her knees,
her love would also have flourished.
After years, her dreams were shattered,
her heart was hurt,
its pieces were scattered,
her hair was cut short.
She hated God.
For years her hair was kept short,
and she built herself a fort.
She took herself for a fool,
oh how could God be so cruel?
She was told that she was worthless.
She believed that she was undeserving.
A worthless woman, undeserving of love.
So many people God took away from her,
He told her to patiently wait.
Then He sent a man to her,
a man who is set to be her fate.
A man who would cherish her.
As she grows her hair again,
her love will reign,
her love will not go in vain.
Because he made her believe in love and God again.
In this crowded place,
I see so many faces.
I went looking in different places,
but really all I wanted to see is your face.
In this beautiful city,
the wind runs cold and dry.
Neglecting the summer sun,
all I wanted is to have some fun.
Streets and alleys inspired me,
so did Victorian buildings and vintage things.
I was lost in this Paris-like city,
but you were my home, this my heart feels.
A touch of hand saved me from loneliness,
even if I don’t wake up next to you, it is okay.
If there was one thing missing, it was your smile.
But it’s okay, maybe I’ll see you next time.
When did it start I never truly realised,
but I know I have decided,
that amongst everything else in this world,
all I want to see is your smile.
Only your smile gives me strength,
only your smile makes me understand,
how loving someone truly feels.
All sorts of dreams used to lurk in my brain when I sleep.
Weird, happy, scary dreams.
I don’t know why but my brain does that.
But recently, they stopped.
I can no longer have dreams.
I thought it was because I got a dreamcatcher, but…
it wasn’t the dreamcatcher, it was you.
Because everything that I could only dream of, you made it true.
The moment I realised you are my dreamcatcher.
I’ve always thought memories are funny,
I forget but I remember.
Sometimes I feel like a dummy,
but sometimes I feel better.
In this small memory room,
Letting our feelings bloom,
it’s just us.
You fill my memory room like no other.
Even if everything else floods out,
I don’t even want to bother.
Because you free me from the drought.
Forever, if you may.
Because this memory room can only fit us.
Justice is not about truth,
it’s about getting the most convincing story up front.
But what is the truth?
When what we feel is different from our front.
And the truth does not even matter anymore.
Believe what you have to believe to make you happy,
even if it’s not the truth.
Because we all want to be happy,
and sometimes we don’t need the truth.
So the truth does not even matter anymore.
I know you know it’s not true,
but really what can I do?
If I can’t bring happiness to you,
then let me remove myself quietly from you.
So please, go after the happiness you deserve.