“I’m fine,”
while clenching my fists,
clenching my teeth.

What if I say I’m not fine?
What if I hurt their feelings?
What if I am seen as selfish?

“I’m fine,”
while clenching my fists,
clenching my teeth.

Well I have to be okay.
Just clench and deal with it.
It’s not important.

“I’m fine,”
while clenching my fists,
clenching my teeth.

I want to whine.
I want to breakdown.
I want to cry.

“I’m fine,”
while clenching my fists,
clenching my teeth.

Stop it, you’re being selfish now.
Just go to sleep.
It will be okay tomorrow.

“I guess I will be fine,”
slowly exhaling deeply,
releasing my tension.

I just wanted to hear that it’s okay for me to breakdown for a mere 5 seconds. And a hug.



A little girl prays on her knees,
begging to God that one day she will be cherished.
She prayed that as her hair grows to her knees,
her love would also have flourished.

After years, her dreams were shattered,
her heart was hurt,
its pieces were scattered,
her hair was cut short.

She hated God.

For years her hair was kept short,
and she built herself a fort.
She took herself for a fool,
oh how could God be so cruel?

She was told that she was worthless.
She believed that she was undeserving.

A worthless woman, undeserving of love.

So many people God took away from her,
He told her to patiently wait.
Then He sent a man to her,
a man who is set to be her fate.

A man who would cherish her.

As she grows her hair again,
her love will reign,
her love will not go in vain.
Because he made her believe in love and God again.



Put your hand on my chest and feel the beats.
Fast. Fast. Fast.
Can you feel it like this?

Watch the clock and time the beats.
Fast. Fast. Fast.
Can you see it like this?

The beats of time are skewed when I’m with you.
One second the sun is rising and next second the moon is shining.
But here I am lying on the bed with you.
Time passes by as if it is never ticking.

As I feel the beats of my heart pacing,
not realising that my lips are curving.
Feeling that tingle as I feel your lips exploring,
that warmth as I feel your touch lingering.

Let the time ticks to its own beats, while we both stay here.

Stay with me, love, because you are mine.
After all, you’re the one who makes my heart beats fast and slow at the same time.

Because the concept of time defies any laws of physics when we’re together.


Falling Out

I want to hike a mountain with the view,
I want to jump from a perfectly working plane,
I know that we are friends,
I am not doing these things for you.

Run, run, run,
Until my feet bleed dry.
Turn, turn, turn,
No turning back even if I try.

Behind the smile I weep,
Behind the cheers I cry.
I am no longer falling deep,
Not when my heart bled out to dry.

I took risks and leaps of faith,
But what was the point if I was the only one.
Even if I jump out of faith,
Would you still be my only one?

No, no more,
Even if I jump off it won’t be for you.
Our story became a folklore,
A mere fiction I’m writing about you.

I’m not doing this for you,
You can’t tell my heart what to do,
So let me walk away with my own pace,
So I can find again my inner peace.

Even if I still love you,
You were right, we will never be true.
So let me love myself this time,
Because my love for you ends at this rhyme.

My new chapter on finding who I really am starts now.

Falling Out

Sol Monsoon

The day we first met.
The day I noticed you.

The first time we went out.
The day I saw colourful flowers, brighter than ever.

The second time we went out.
The day I felt sparks in my heart.

The day it rained.
The day we shared an umbrella.

The beautiful sunny day.
The day it stormed inside my heart.

I’m waiting for our La, Ti, and Do.
For the crescendo towards our dolce climax.

Sol Monsoon