Sitting on my bed, I wonder,
keep feeling like I should be doing something.
Staring at my phone, I ponder,
but why am I not doing anything?
I just stare, stare, stare,
hoping that your name would appear.
But no matter how much I stare,
you just wouldn’t appear.
“How was your day?”
“Did you have fun today?”
“What are you doing?”
I was looking for those…or anything.
Staring blankly at the screen, I wonder,
are you asking these questions to her?
The questions that you used to ask me,
and the words of love that you used to say to me.
Staring blankly at the wall, I ponder,
is your heart beating faster for her?
The heart that used to beat fast for me,
the warmth creeping up your cheeks that I couldn’t even see.
At this time of the day,
I used to be able to have you in my head,
but at this time of the day,
I could only feel that my heart is dead.
Your sweet voice when you said “I love you” for the first time,
keeps bouncing around my head.
Beating up my heart.
Because I could only hear it that one time.
As many times as I repeat your voice,
wishing that it was you whispering in my ears,
it slowly turned into a mere noise,
because it was covered by the sound of my tears.
Those three words used to be mine,
on a bad day I would hear it and I would be fine,
but those three words are no longer mine,
even when it once was mine.
If I can make a wish,
it would be for us to see each other again.
And we can kiss,
and love each other again.
But tonight it is just me in my lonely bed.
Putting myself to sleep.
Facing the side of my bed.
Letting myself weep.
And I say to myself, “Good night. Sweet dreams.”