Slip Away

Like these drops of water on the palm of my hands,
everyone is slipping away.
This wasn’t part of the plans,
much to my dismay.

The question is not “what happened?”,
but rather “why don’t they stay?”
Because now that it’s mentioned,
From me…I, too, would walk away.

I’m a tough wall with no ears,
I’m a soft ball with the tears.
And this further confirms my fears,
that I will be lonely in many years.

Maybe I am not good enough,
maybe I am undeserving.
Maybe I am rough,
maybe I am annoying.

If God is taking people away from me, maybe I never deserved them in the first place.

Slip Away

So Long and Good Night

Sitting on my bed, I wonder,
keep feeling like I should be doing something.
Staring at my phone, I ponder,
but why am I not doing anything?

I just stare, stare, stare,
hoping that your name would appear.
But no matter how much I stare,
you just wouldn’t appear.

“How was your day?”
“Did you have fun today?”
“What are you doing?”
I was looking for those…or anything.


Staring blankly at the screen, I wonder,
are you asking these questions to her?
The questions that you used to ask me,
and the words of love that you used to say to me.

Staring blankly at the wall, I ponder,
is your heart beating faster for her?
The heart that used to beat fast for me,
the warmth creeping up your cheeks that I couldn’t even see.

At this time of the day,
I used to be able to have you in my head,
but at this time of the day,
I could only feel that my heart is dead.

Your sweet voice when you said “I love you” for the first time,
keeps bouncing around my head.
Beating up my heart.
Because I could only hear it that one time.

As many times as I repeat your voice,
wishing that it was you whispering in my ears,
it slowly turned into a mere noise,
because it was covered by the sound of my tears.

Those three words used to be mine,
on a bad day I would hear it and I would be fine,
but those three words are no longer mine,
even when it once was mine.

If I can make a wish,
it would be for us to see each other again.
And we can kiss,
and love each other again.

But tonight it is just me in my lonely bed.
Putting myself to sleep.
Facing the side of my bed.
Letting myself weep.

And I say to myself, “Good night. Sweet dreams.”

So Long and Good Night


Floating around the ocean of emotions,
I wished that the strong wave would take me back ashore.
To wherever I was before I jumped into the ocean.
But the fact is, I’m still floating here.

I can’t go back.

All I can do is swim ahead and find another land.

I was floating around the ocean.
No safety belts, no life jackets.
Just waves and waves crushing down on me.
Taking me to places and trying to drown me.

The ocean had calmed down and I have seen the land far front.
However, I can also see the upcoming surge of waves ahead.
This time, I have to swim hard and strong, swimming against the waves.
So I can be ashore again.

It was the year I lost myself.
I lost sight of who I was.
I didn’t go through a roller coaster of emotions.
At least, if I was on a roller coaster, I would have my safety belt.
No matter how rough and twisted the tracks were,
I would still be seated safely.


Say Goodbye and Go

I’ve been standing in your field of roses for too long.
I love you and it hurts me but I didn’t mind.
Your thorns were digging onto my skin, holding me down.
Soon I’ll be drowning in my own pool of blood.

I love you, but I’ll say goodbye and go.

Don’t hold me down in your field of roses,
So that you can come and see me when you feel like it,
I’m not a rose, I’m your lover.
Don’t say you love me if you don’t have me by your side.

I love you, but I’ll say goodbye and go.

Don’t keep me in that thorny field in your heart,
So that you can leave me and go back to me,
I’m hurt, but I’m your lover.
Don’t say you love me because you settle for me.

I love you, but I’ll say goodbye and go.

If you really love me then fight for me,
Walk through this field of roses and find me,
Save me from these stabbing thorns so I can be by your side.
Or I’ll leave and keep these wounds forever.

I love you, but I’ll say goodbye and go.

Don’t love me because I can love you like this.
Boy, you don’t get more excuses.
Don’t love me because I’m your last option.
Love me because I make you a better person.

I love you, but I’ll say goodbye and go.
I love you, so I’ll say goodbye and go.
Because I have to stand my ground.

Say Goodbye and Go


“The enjoyment of what appears to be painful or tiresome.”

Why do people reject the idea of being a masochist?
We hurt ourselves unintentionally to feel better about ourselves.
Everyone is unconsciously being a masochist.
In this case, especially females.

All the things we do for beauty.

We put eyeliner on our eyes,
we curl our lashes,
we put contact lenses in our eyes,
we rip/shave/wax our facial and body hair – which grow on certain parts for a reason, by the way,
we cover all our facial imperfections, and contour it again,
we curl and straighten our hair,
we spend time to “look natural”.

Nothing wrong with this, but, it sounds like an act of masochism for me.

All the things we do for good physique.

We diet,
we blame ourselves when we eat too much,
we ignore those sweet cravings,
we feel bad and punish ourselves when we eat something we shouldn’t,
we spend hours and hours in the gym,
we ignore the aching and screaming muscles, but
we never get satisfied with our looks.

Nothing wrong with this, but, it sounds like an act of masochism for me.

All the things we do for love.

We learn how to cook or bake – and some other “accidents” and “failures” in the process,
we push ourselves to be a better person,
we sacrifice the things we love to be with that person,
we worry if this love will be returned, or at least be worth it,
we separate from our friends just to be with that person,
we cry and hurt just to be able to feel the love.

Nothing wrong with this, but, seriously, doesn’t it sound like an act of masochism?


Disclaimer: Before anyone thinks and comments that these don’t apply to them, this is just a general idea that popped in my mind when I was talking to some of my friends. Some of these don’t apply to my situation as well.