On the day I took my first breath of fresh air,
your love was the first thing that I knew.
I’ve taken it for granted at times,
not completely understanding your love and intentions.
I know I have unintentionally done things that angered you, annoyed you, upset you…
but the worst is that I have deliberately done things that I knew was going to make you feel sad.
I know, I’m selfish.
I’ve grown to be an adult who learned from things outside of your teachings.
I no longer like only the things you taught me to like.
I start seeing your flaws that I never noticed before.
Nevertheless, I still love you.
I know I have no right to ask things from you…
but I miss your smile.
I miss your happy smile as if nothing in the world can bring you down.
I miss your smile without your thick eyebags as if you’ve been crying for weeks.
I know only time can heal your heart right now.
So I will wait….patiently.
I will wait until your smile fully return.
After all…I will forever be your daughter.
I can’t understand your pain, but…
It’s not easy on me, too.
I realised how much I missed your voice…it made me so happy just to hear you on the background.
I pray that one day, I can hear you speak to me again.
I never liked hot days.
With the sun glaring at my skin,
darkening it at every second,
all I could feel was beads of sweat trickling down my skin.
Then cue sweaty clothes, sticky hair, and increasing consciousness of one’s own body odour.
All I could think of was how awful this hell was.
You pulled my hand and said, “Let’s not take things for granted,”
Today was sunny, but it wasn’t bad.
Was it because of your hand holding mine?
I could feel the sun lightly kissing my skin,
the wind tickling the back of my neck,
and the fresh smell of frangipani relaxing my mind.
I could see the joy in other people’s faces,
I wonder what is making them smile right now,
because I take one look at you and I know my reason.
Today was sunny, but I liked it.
You are my sunshine.
As I close the door
to set my steps on the world
I took a glance back
but was more excited on the view of what was coming
I have wandered
I have challenged
I have been afraid
I have been curious
I have their faith
I have their trust
Every step forward I have taken
has only been possible because of the safe security of home
Because no matter how far I go
Their love never cease to exist
Because I am blessed with the kindest home.
Amongst the still-glimmering stars in the night sky,
You came like a shooting star.
With an intensity so high,
Aiming to travel far.
You may be brief but you were bright,
Although your time has passed I remember your light.
Even though the world was unjust,
You have no more worries, you’re a stardust.
But how can I not smile,
when every time I look at you,
I see you fathering our children.
She worked a job with no past experience,
no university degrees to help her excel,
devoting her life to raise good people,
trying to make just a little difference.
She’s a human being with flaws,
but she’s only doing her best.
She always says she is blessed,
because she has me as her cause.
We agree on some things,
about people and spreading kindness.
We disagree on many things,
about the world and about ourselves.
Emotions are hard to keep,
even though we try hard to ignore.
In silence she did not weep,
but the weight of pain in her eyes she bore.
In her flaws she is still perfection,
as no one could have done her job better than her.
She guided me in to the right direction,
even though I end up in a different place from her.
In her eyes there was still disappointment,
not of me, but of herself.
Despite her flaws, she did nothing wrong,
and there are no reasons for me to be gone.
She is weeping silently through her eyes,
but I only pray to God, someday please bring back her smile.
Even if the rest of my life is an atonement
for breaking her heart.
Hey there, little girl.
You may think you’re not doing well,
and the world is going against you.
Keep holding on,
you will get there.
It won’t be an easy path,
you will have your heart ripped out,
broken into pieces,
to the point you feel numb.
You will learn to fight,
and to let go.
They can forcibly take your flower crown,
but don’t let them take your innocence.