Nothing says love more than
simply being there
for someone who is crying their insecurities out on the floor
at 3 A.M.
bearing their pain
that is silence broken by the sound of their tears
knowing that this won’t be their last breakdown
and you choose to stay.
attraction brings you in,
but love makes you stay
Perfection, flawless, impeccable.
Unrealistic and unattainable.
Mistakes and flaws.
Gripping my heart like claws.
Until when will I punish myself?
This perfection obsession,
hazed my reflection.
Is the mirror dirty or is my brain cloudy?
The more I avoid making mistakes,
the more I make mistakes.
What do I do after the mistakes are made?
Acknowledge and learn.
I’m perfection in my imperfection.
Casually throwing teases at each other,
Never felt like they really matter.
The more I know, the more I smile.
Feelings grew in me, feelings that are worthwhile.
Your teases became my comfort zone,
Your laugh became my favourite tone.
Suddenly you became a part of me,
I thought “Ah, maybe we are meant to be”.
As every tease turns into a kiss,
I’m falling deeper into the abyss.
But in the abyss, there’s you.
You, who smiled back at me too.
When words cannot even explain,
all these feelings that I can’t contain,
I just smile.
Because I know you are worthwhile.
Because the better things in life have to be fought for, right?
Floating around the ocean of emotions,
I wished that the strong wave would take me back ashore.
To wherever I was before I jumped into the ocean.
But the fact is, I’m still floating here.
I can’t go back.
All I can do is swim ahead and find another land.
I was floating around the ocean.
No safety belts, no life jackets.
Just waves and waves crushing down on me.
Taking me to places and trying to drown me.
The ocean had calmed down and I have seen the land far front.
However, I can also see the upcoming surge of waves ahead.
This time, I have to swim hard and strong, swimming against the waves.
So I can be ashore again.
It was the year I lost myself.
I lost sight of who I was.
I didn’t go through a roller coaster of emotions.
At least, if I was on a roller coaster, I would have my safety belt.
No matter how rough and twisted the tracks were,
I would still be seated safely.
Starring multi-faceted characters.
Scenes were to unfold innocently.
Developments were not to be complicated.
The plot was supposedly predictable.
Any audience would have guessed the ending.
Nothing is ever what they seem.
The past was supposed to stay in the past.
It came and clashed with the present.
The past was impossible, we knew that.
Hence the past was given up and no longer a part of the present.
The present is not what it seems.
It is the biggest plot twist in the story.
Colpo di Scena.
Innocence is an illusion.
Vision could only reach the visage.
Serenity is only a semblance.
Fear is hidden behind the façade.
I’m your lady of fantasy.
I can be everything you need me to be.
Being with me is easy.
Just close your eyes and set yourself free.
I’m your escape from reality.
I can help you form a happy memory.
Being sad is not the way to be.
Just visit me in my land of fantasy.
You’re my only guest here.
In our little soirée,
We only speak the language of the body.
Don’t worry, love, we are free.
Hitched breaths and muffled moans are our currency,
Fast or slow, doesn’t matter what the pace is,
As long as I can dig my fingernails onto your skin,
And whisper how much I love you into your ears.
There, awaits the lady of reality.
She, who said you can’t stay with me.
Please, choose her instead of me.
As I’m only your lady of fantasy.
I will never be your lady of reality.
Even if I want to, you won’t want me to.
Like a gust of wind,
you came to me.
Breaking my guard.
Breaking my walls of protection.
You lift me up,
and spun me around.
I was dazed in love.
I was lost in lust.
You were the cyclone.
The one who caused me ache.
I must be fucked up,
because I was addicted.
You would calm down.
Like a breeze on a summer day.
Soothing my heart.
Tickling my skin.
Then you were a hurricane.
Full of energy.
Leaving me breathless,
yet wanting for more.
Then you would calm down again.
But this time you were slowly drifting away.
I could still feel you tickling against my skin.
But you weren’t there.
Before I knew it,
You were gone.
I couldn’t breathe at first,
because I needed you.
I slowly re-built my walls.
Brick, by brick.
To cover the hole that you left.
I had to do it alone.
No matter how tall I stacked the bricks,
No matter how much bricks I’ve used,
There was still a gaping hole.
The hole only you can fit in.
I want to close the door.
So that you would stay inside with me.
But the door is still open.
Because I still can’t breathe.